A story about a boy and a girl

Dan and I "celebrated" our 10 year dating anniversary yesterday.  I have always joked around with Dan that he probably never thought from that moment that I asked him to "dtr" in our driveway that night that he would never. ever. be single again.  And I tell him that was my plan all along :)

This 10 year anniversary came at such a sweet time for us.  Our move to New York has probably been the most "trying" on our relationship since we got married.  It's not our first move- obviously we moved out to Chicago after we got married, but we were totally and completely in our honeymoon phase.  I was excited to make dinners, become a homemaker, do laundry, and vacuum.  I'm not saying I don't enjoy cooking and cleaning anymore (well.. sometimes I don't :) ) however the "newness" of marriage and being a wife has faded and Dan is working a job that demands more of his time and energy.  We are in a new place.  We now have a son.  And we have had to have conversations that we haven't had before.  What came naturally to us 3 years ago is something we have to fight for in this stage of our relationship. 

And although we're not "through" this difficult time, I am thankful to say that it has been worth the fight.  I knew coming out here we would need to fight for our marriage.  We have been put into an environment where we have no community, no church, no family.  It can be the breeding ground for resentment, selfishness, and critical hearts in a marriage.  And I can say that I have experienced all of that in the past four months.  However, I am thankful that God has shown me areas that I need to work on in my heart.  More often than not in marriage, I have realized that while I can easily first point fingers at Dan, there are just as many fingers that should be pointed back at me.

So this 10 year anniversary is sweeter because of the experiences that we have had recently.  Looking back on our wedding day, it almost seems impossible to think I could have fallen more in love with Dan, but as super cheesy as that sounds, I have.  What we have now is so much more than the giddy, new love.  And while those were such sweet memories for us, I love where we are now.  Where I am privileged to watch him as a dad, see him working hard to support our family, follow him as he strives to stay passionate in his walk with God.

My sweet discipler, Jenny, for my wedding gave me the prayers from "The Power of a Praying Wife" on note cards and I can honestly say it is one of my all time favorite wedding gifts.  I prayed this prayer this morning and can say it is the true desire of my heart for our marriage.  It's long, but well worth the read :)

Lord help me to be a good wife.  I fully realize that I don’t have what it takes to be one without your help. Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long suffering, and the willingness to bear all things.  Take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions, and self-protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled.  Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with your battering ram of revelation.  Give me a new heart and work in me your love, pace, and joy (Galatians 5:22, 23).  I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment.  Only You can transform me.  Show me where there is sin in my heart, especially with regard to my husband.  I confess the times I’ve been unloving, critical, angry, resentful, disrespectful, or unforgiving toward him.  Help me to put aside any hurt, anger, or disappointment I feel and forgive him the way You do- totally and completely, no looking back.  Make me a tool of reconciliation, peace, and healing in this marriage. 

Enable us to communicate well and rescue us from the threshold of separation where the realities of divorce begin.  Make me my husband’s helpmate, companion, champion, friend, and support.  Help me to create a peaceful, restful, safe place for him to come home to.  Teach me how to take care of myself and stay attractive to him.  Grow me into a creative and confident woman who is rich in mind, soul, and spirit.  Make me the kind of woman he can be proud to say is his wife.  I lay areas where I should be looking to You.   Help me to accept him the way he is and not try to change him.  I realize that in some ways he may never change, but at the same time, I release him to change in ways I never thought he could.  I leave any changing that needs to be done in your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be. Only you Lord, are perfect and I look to you to perfect us.  Teach me how to pray for my husband and make my prayers a true language of love. 

Where love has died, create new love between us.  Show me what unconditional love really is and how to communicate it in a way that he can clearly perceive.  Bring unity between us so that we can be in agreement about everything (Amos 3:3).  May the God of patience and comfort grant us to be like minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus (Romans 15:5).  Make us a team, not pursuing separate, competitive, or independent lives, but working together, overlooking each other’s faults and weaknesses for the greater good of the marriage.  Help us to pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another (Romans 14:19).  May we be “perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment” (1Corinthians 1:10). I pray that our commitment to You and to one another will grow stronger and more passionate every day.  Enable him to be the head of the home as You made him to be, and show me how to support and respect him as he rises to the place of leadership.  Help me to understand his dreams and see things from his perspective.  Reveal to me what he wants and needs and show me potential problems before they arise. Breathe your life into this marriage.  Make me a new person, Lord.  Give me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and a renewed relationship with the man You’ve given me.  Help me see him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion, and new acceptance.

 

 

 

 

The True Meaning of Marriage

So if you follow certain pastors/ people on twitter you may have seen this video floating around yesterday, but it was too good not to share with you. I watched it at 11:20 in bed last night and there may have been tears involved.  I blame the pregnancy.

You can watch the video below and then download a PDF for free of Piper's book Momentary Marriage.  Yes I said free.  Piper is just that awesome.  I read through this book in the Fall because it was one we had on our list to do in our couples study, and I would definitely recommend it.  Here's the portion he read in the video:

"Marriage is not mainly about prospering economically.  It is mainly about displaying the covenant keeping love between Christ and His church.  Knowing Christ is more important than making a living.  Treasuring Christ is more important than bearing children. 

Either way it is short.  It may have many bright days or may be covered with clouds but if we set our face to make of marriage mainly of what God designed it to be no sorrows or calamities will stand in our way.  Everyone of them will be not an obstacle to success but a way to succeed. 

The beauty of the covenant keeping love between Christ and His Church shines brightest when nothing but Christ can sustain it. 

.

Breakfast in Bed

I don't know if you remember my "goals" for the weekend, but I am proud to say that I killed two birds with one stone- breakfast in bed + getting my blueberry fix (recipe to come!).

Things to note for our next breakfast in bed:

1. Coffee tables directly next to our bed would be helpful

2. Trays to put things on would be REALLY helpful (we had no spills, though!)

3. Having more than 20 minutes to eat breakfast would have been ideal (Dan had a meeting to run to)

4. If I had more time I would make sausage biscuits. hmmm I love sausage biscuits. 

5. I really want to do this again :)

aww don't you love our adorable mugs?! Cheesy. I know.

haha this lamb for the baby was sitting on the floor next to me so I told Dan to take a picture of it. He's a good sport.

Yep. all done.

Date night ... with an orange tint

Last week Dan planned a date night for us and it was SO sweet.  Our original plans fell through (because our movie wasn't playing in that theater!) but after Dan told me his second plan (Cheesecake Factory) I wasn't too disappointed!

And because the Cheesecake Factory has amazing lighting, our pictures were a *little* orange.

Hello Coconut Creme Cheesecake

Dan got the Toasted Coconut + Chocolate Milkshake.  It was AMAZING. I was a little nervous- who doesn't get a cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory?!  But, this did not disappoint.

ha Dan looks so silly here.

Taking a break from demolishing the cheesecake 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then we headed off to see our movie... Overall, I'd recommend you go see it. It was intense and Liam was obviously in his element.  However, the underlying theme throughout the whole movie was a little disappointing.  I can't say much more- you should just go see it :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Merry Christmas to Us

There it is in all its glory.  The Keurig.  

Dan and I have wanted one for quite some time- all of our friends have one (ok so two of our friends have one- but we see them a lot) and the thought of just putting in a quick pod in the morning and running out the door sounded wonderful.  Is there something wrong with our current coffee pot?  No.  Would you think there would be something wrong with it by now?  Yes.  We bought it at Wal Mart 3 years ago for $10.. seriously maybe $11.48 with tax.  But, we were ready for a step up. 

I'm not a huge coffee person- by that I mean I don't absolutely need it in the morning, but honestly the work it takes to make it isn't worth it. Pathetic I know. Putting in the filter, measuring out the coffee, then measuring out the water, and then cleaning out everything when you're done....I'm exhausted thinking about it.  That takes time, time that in the end isn't worth it to me.  And really, why do that when you can have a Keurig?  Our thoughts exactly.

Of course, we wanted to wait until it went on sale, and what a perfect time other than Christmas?  So, we benefit in lots of ways. 1) Got it for a good deal. 2) Done Christmas shopping for the both of us (I know it takes the fun out of it.. but we're both SO bogged down with finals that we're really excited to be done :) 3) We get to enjoy coffee up until Christmas.

It's turning out to be a great Christmas already.

New beginnings

There is something I love so much about starting a new journal.  Not only because I like buying new things, but because I anticipate the time when I can go back and read through what God has been doing in my life for the past couple months.

This last journal I had for a whole YEAR.  I think that's a record in my journaling life.  I mean, this journal was big- really big. It didn't fit in my purse, and when I took notes in church I'm pretty sure people would do a double take, or I just assumed if people looked in my direction they were staring at my journal, but either way I was self conscious about it in public.

It actually took me a couple days to go through my journal when I was done.  I'm one of those people who goes back and writes a table of context at the beginning so if I ever need to see notes I took on a certain subject or book I can find it easily.  Come to think of it, I may be the only person I know who does that.  Anyway, the reason why I write in journals is so I can look back and see what God is doing in my life, so I like to keep it organized :)

If you've been reading my blog for a while you'll probably remember when Dan and I wrestled through our decision to continue serving in Jr High  or take a break as our classes at Trinity picked up.  I also read through the quotes that I wrote down from Shauna Niequist's books Cold tangerines & Bittersweet as I got completely lost in those last summer.  Her writing is SO real and raw and I loved every second of it.  If I ever have a quiet moment at home I still sneak those books off my shelf and read a couple stories.  There is something about her writing that connects with me and I love that :)

Because of her love for Michigan and the fact that we got a new camera last year, Dan and I took a trip over Labor Day last year to South Haven and I loved reading about our trip in my journal and the time that we spent with the Lord at their cute coffee shops.

I also really enjoyed looking over the notes I took from all the books I read.  Some of my favorites from this past year were: 

Humility

Just Do Something

When People are Big and God is Small

Think

Forgotten God

Each of these books met me right where I needed to be- whether it was my struggles with people pleasing or Dan and I wrestling with big life decisions, I was so thankful that in between all the reading we have for our classes I was able to get away and read some "less academic" books :)

I also came across journal entries from our Trip to Florida and loved how every single journal entry started off with "Lord I am just so thankful ..." God has been really good to us.

And lastly, a huge chunk of my journal was devoted to all the notes I took at the Gospel Coalition.  We were so so thankful that we could go, and I learned a ton from all of the speakers and breakout sessions.  Those are definitely sections of my journal that I will be looking back on in the future!

So thanks for taking a trip down memory lane with me :)  It honestly warms my heart to look back and read about how God has blessed us this past "journal year" and what He has taught us.  I know there are going to be journals in my life that are more painful to look back on- ones where my prayers are dry and I seem to just be asking God "Why is this happening" or "Why is this not working out," but for now I will continue to praise God through the blessings that He has given us- and use these journals to remember His goodness and mercy.

Happy 26th to Daniel

Today marks the day when for 2 months and 2 days I am married to an older, much more mature man :)

And, I am so thankful for him.

He is the most loving guy I know.

He has the BEST laugh.

Oh.. and the best smile :)

He's committed to our marriage.

Commited to the Lord ... always seeking to know God more and share it with others.

He is patient with my "go - go" attitude.

He enjoys the simple things in life ... and I learn a lot from him in that.

He's such a hard worker at Kraft and I am so thankful that God has blessed his work. 

And I love doing life with him.

I can't wait to see how God uses him this upcoming year.

Happy Birthday babe, you're awesome :)

Couples Small Group

 "Spiritual battles are won or lost in the day to day thoughts we harbor.  Ideas matter! What we think about the purposes of marriage, the roles in marriage, and the priority of marriage matters, and it matters a great deal to God . . . Just as the devil attacks those with potential for church leadership, he seeks to subvert human marriages, because they have the greatest potential for displaying to the world the nature of the relationships between Christ and his church."  Radical Womanhood by Carolyn McCulley

Dan and I are really excited to be joining a couples small group this fall.  Not only is it with some of our closest friends, but I'm excited to be in a study with Dan. I love hearing his thoughts about God, (umm did that song "Tell me all your thoughts on God just pop into anybody's head? Because it totally did in mine.) Annnyway, back to the seriousness of being in a Bible Study.  For real though, I love talking with Dan about what he's reading and what God's teaching him, and it will be really fun to get to have that discussion with other godly couples. 

While I won't be sharing any intimate thoughts about what other couples share on this blog (don't worry Rachael, Becca, and Jessica lol) I'm sure I'll be sharing what God is teaching me through them and through the books we read.  Get excited.  :)

A Husband's Advice

I once heard advice from a pastor where he recommended couples to keep a journal devoted to writing things about their spouse.  Not just prayers for your spouse, but notes about their spouse.  Things they say- their dreams, what excites them, those small comments that they say in passing, that are hard to remember but so important.

I am sad to say that I actually bought a journal, and wrote a couple things in it, but unfortunately I didn't keep up with it.  Some things work for me, and some don't.  Trying to keep track of my prayer journal is difficult enough, so I don't know why I thought a second journal would stick.

But, that doesn't negate the fact that I want to learn more about Dan- what makes him tick, what makes him feel respected and loved, and what he's passionate about.

In the book Radical Womanhood, McCulley has an excerpt where a husband encourages wives with the following advice:

"You will have to fight the natural human tendency to obsess over your husband's weakness.  When I urge you to affirm your husband's strengths, I'm not minimizing this many weaknesses.  I'm just encouraging you to make the daily spiritual choice of focusing on qualities for which you feel thankful.  The time will come when you can address the weakness- after you've established a firm foundation of love and encouragement. For now, you must make a conscious choice to give thanks for his strengths. 

Guys rise to praise.  When someone compliments us, we want to keep that person's positive opinion intact. We love how it feels when our wives respect us; we get a rush like nothing else when we hear her praise or see that look of awe in her eyes- and we will all but travel to the ends of the earth to keep it coming." Pg 89

Dan apparently isn't the only guy who has "Words of Affirmation" as one of his top love languages :)  Although men think women are hard to understand... I'm thankful for some insight into the mind of a guy sometimes.  

Because this is a post about husbands, and mine is a stud,  I decided to put a picture of Dan.  Happy Wednesday :)

movies. weddings. friends. Chicago.

Happy Monday!  There are some craaazzy storms here in Chicago!  Great start to a Monday, right?  On the other hand, while this weekend was really hot, it was perfect weather for doing some "night" activities, which is exactly what we did!

Although we said we celebrated our 3 year with a lunch to Chipotle last week (because technically our anniversary was Monday), we really went out because I didn't have time to go to the grocery store last weekend after being out of town!  So, we officially celebrated this past Friday by going out to eat at Outback (thank you Dan's parents for the anniversary gift!) and then went to a movie in the park.  Dan has been on this kick of wanting to do fun and different things this summer, which I actually really like because I'm the kind of person who will sit around doing the same thing over and over again.  So, he did some research and we went to Chicago to watch this movie in the park!  The night had perfect weather and it was so fun!  

Then, Saturday our friends Brittany & Luke came in town from Indy.  They actually ended up spending the night and we used our Groupon (score!) to go to this great pizza place in downtown Arlington Heights and then went into the city to watch a concert in Millennium Park (even though we got there really late!).  It was such a treat to see them because we hadn't hung out with them since our vacation!

And then, on Sunday I went to a wedding shower for my friend Mariel who's getting married the weekend after my brother!  I guess it sounds like we were busy, but it didn't feel like it.  Ah, the joys of summer. 

Waiting for the movie to start lol

I had a moment of panic because I realized I didn't bring the wine opener, and then we realized we planned ahead without knowing and bought a twist top.  We are just that good.

We saw Mega Mind, and while I am normally 100% against wasting my time with animated movies, this was actually really funny.  I'm starting to reconsider my hatred.

Seriously, perfect night.

Then off to Chicago.  Our cooler was heavy, but Luke definitely took one for the team.

Then he realized the walk was a little longer than we thought.  They make a good team.

SO many people!

Again, another perfect night.

Luke and Brittany!

Hanging out

We wanted to go up to the bean but the park closes at 11.  It was sad, but at least we got close.

Mariel opening gifts!

SO cute!

The couple

So happy for her!

Yes, there's more

You may wonder how there could be more fun we had this weekend?!  Oh, just wait.  There are more pics I took with my phone :)  The fun never stops with the Beattie family.

But, before I share those, I wanted to share with you a story about a couple who survived an affair in their marriage.  In light of Dan and I hitting our 3 year mark (hooray!), I don't want to be naive to think that our marriage will never hit rough spots.  God is so wise to warn us in Galatians 6:1 that when confronting someone who has sinned, don't think that you yourself are above their sin.  I am sure you have heard this before, but everyone who hits rock bottom in their marriage says it didn't just happen in a day- it's a slow process over time.  I gained a lot of insight from reading the 8 things that restored their marriage and 8 things that destroyed their marriage.  I hope you find it helpful, too :)

Onto the pictures!

Hanging out in downtown Hudson

The sun was a little too much for Holly lol

There we go!

Yes I was wearing a sweater in 85 degree weather.  I'm losing my mind.

The whole family together & the craziness that comes with it :)

Home sweet home.  Definitely a little nicer than Cleveland (not to diss my hometown or anything..)

We had a running joke about canoes... I would explain it but you probably wouldn't think it's funny so for now you can just appreciate my artistic, photogenic ability :)

Yep, that's me, Doug, and Jon.  Quite the pictures.  Thank you Pap for keeping this up in your house :) And I can't seem to post on the photo below.. but this is Pap's phone.  He said it was his Dad's phone.. how cute is that?!

Three wonderful years :)

Fourth of July weekend now has a new meaning for Dan and I.  Not only do I get excited for picnics, warm weather, & fireworks, but we get to celebrate the day we got married, July 5th.  I cannot believe that it has been 3 years.  It seems like it went by so fast, and I'm sure it's not going to slow down!

This past year even had a couple firsts for us:

• Our first move in Chicago out of our first place in downtown Arlington Heights (we will always remember our first place!)
• We ran our first marathon together
• We traveled to a new state together- Tennessee

We have been blessed SO much these past couple years.  From the trips we have had the privilege to take, to the weddings we have attended, the blessings of our jobs, and the friends we have made, I honestly can only respond by praising God for all the blessings He has given us.  I know it is only by His grace that these three years have been as amazing as they are.

When I think about this past year I really think of how we have grown as a couple.  When Dan was gone in Georgia I truly felt like something was missing.  I am so used to confiding in Dan for literally everything now- what we eat for dinner, what we do with our down time, where and how we should spend our money.  When he was gone, I felt a little lost.  It took me a couple days to get used to living on my own again.  Normally this would scare me, but I really see this as a testimony to the "oneness" of our marriage.  I truly am starting to get what God said in Genesis 2 "It is not good for man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him..." and then said "the two become one."

I consider it such a privilege to be able to be considered Dan's helper.  His pursuit of the Lord is steadfast.  His heart to serve me is such a blessing.  His laughter and lighthearted outlook on life is such a breath of fresh air.  His desire to find creative things to do pushes me to expand my horizons.  His love for his friends and the guys in his life is inspiring.

I am truly thankful :)  And, I can't wait to see what God has in store for the next year.

And I really like this song :) (please excuse the cheesy slide show lol)  Below are my favorite lyrics:

And as the years march on like a beating heart
I will live these words 'til death do us part'

Cause I have never been so sure of anything before
Like I am in this moment here with you
And now for better or for worse
Are so much more than only words
And I pray everyday will be the proof
That I mean what I say when I say 'I do'
Ya I mean what I say when I say 'I do'

The boy is gone...

for the next 6 days.  It's not like I'll be counting or anything :)

Yep, Dan planned a guys trip in GA with his college friends.  It's much needed and I know he's really looking forward to it, so I'm excited for him.  In the meantime, I'm going to take a break from making dinners (I can totally survive off of yogurt and ice cream sandwiches through Tuesday), clean our apt, probably do some organizing, start finally reading for our summer class, and hopefully have a couple coffee dates with some friends.  

But, to make the most of our one free night this past week, we decided to plan a special date night on Monday... to McDonald's.  After I shot down his idea of going to Outback to get a steak (remember our trip to TN?  Yeah, our restaurant budget is almost shot for the month... even though we love Outback) he recommended a cheaper option: McDonald's sundaes and a walk around the lake at our apt complex.  Only $2.22, and I actually think it was way better than Outback anyway:)

I love their sundaes.

Isn't it so pretty?

Have a great weekend!

I like to sing..

I tend to serenade Dan a lot.  I'm almost positive it's more than he would like, but we're married, so it's kind of something he committed to :)  Anyway, the other morning when he was having trouble getting out of bed, I decided to sing this song to him.  I even had an invisible microphone.  It was pretty powerful.  

Unfortunately, I only knew the first verse and chorus, so we both cracked up when I just went right back to the beginning after I belted out a pretty intense chorus.  I guess you had to be there.  

On a more serious note, it's actually a really good song.  Not only the actual song, but the lyrics.  One reason why I love it and I think it sticks in my head is because the words are SO true.  It's a super encouraging song.  I hope you like it, too :) 

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

Troubles surround me, chaos abounding
My soul will rest in You
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Happy Weekend!

It's a very rainy Friday here in Chicago :/  Thank goodness we're heading to Ohio where it's supposed to be sunny and warm for my sister in law's softball game!  Dan and I realized we have close to 400 pages that we need to read for our Ethics class by May 3rd, so our time in the car will probably be spent doing that!  I hope you have fun plans for the weekend!

Here are some fun updates about what's been going on with us:

I have been loving the look of these chalkboards and this past week have been working on making one of my own!  I'll post a picture of it when I'm done!

picture via Miss Mustard Interiors

Two of my coworkers are going to be dads soon so we're planning baby shower's for them!!  I have been searching for ideas and have found some pretty amazing baby showers.  I hope they don't expect anything like this, but in a world where time and money wasn't an issue- I'd love to plan one like this:

pictures found via hostessblog.com

 Pastor Mark Driscoll spoke about marriage this past week at our church.  Not only did he have some good wisdom to share, he was pretty entertaining as well.  It was fun to see him in person because Dan and I have listened to a lot of his podcasts.  You can view it below, BUT I believe only through this Sunday!!

How to Safeguard Your Marriage - Pastor Mark Driscoll from Harvest Bible Chapel on Vimeo.

And lastly, I've been listening to this song on YouTube:


Happy Friday :)