Things I don't do

These past few weeks since the marathon have been pretty quiet- which is a good thing.  We've had time to go to church (which is something we have missed because of our busy weekends!), catch up on school work- much needed, and hang out with friends.  All wonderful things :)

A while back I told you that I went to see Shauna Niequist speak.  It was really fun because she read a couple chapters out loud from her book "Bittersweet" and the way she spoke sounded exactly how I imagined she would sound as I read her book.  She read one chapter from her book called "Things I don't do" which actually is the chapter that made me want to buy her book in the first place.  (I came across her blog randomly, and she had a couple chapters posted from her book- and you can read that particular chapter here.)

I can totally relate to her as she writes this chapter- there are so many times when I get caught in this cycle of wanting to "do everything better" which is not healthy or biblical.  Her friend Denise gave her some great advice: "It's not hard to decide what you want your life to be about.  What's hard is figuring out what you're willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about."  So profound, yet so simple that it makes me wonder why I didn't think of that.  After Shauna read her chapter aloud, she asked us to write down our list of do's and dont's.  I'm so glad she encouraged us to do this because this was something I wanted to do a while back, but as life is, things got busy and I didn't get around to it.  Even though I didn't finish my list that night, these past weeks I have been adding to it and this is what I have come up with so far.

Things I [try] do:

1. Keep Christ at the center of everything I do.  He is the reason I am here, He is the one who gives me purpose, He is the one who gives me peace, and in this world I desperately need to cling to a savior.
2. Invest in my marriage.  I read a convicting devotional from a divorced woman pleading that we pursue our spouses and don't let our marriages get complacent.  Even though I *knew* this- it is still a good reminder that we always need to be pursuing our spouse- even when we think things are "o.k. or going well."  Keeping consistent date nights and finding ways to serve Dan is definitely a priority.
3. Be the best I can at my job- creating visit experiences that allow students and families to experience Trinity at it's best - a place where students can grow spiritually, emotionally, and academically.  And, growing closer to my co workers in the process.  I work with some amazing people and am daily blessed by them.
4. Work hard at my classes. God has give me the amazing blessing of taking classes at Trinity and He's given me a passion for counseling and helping people.  I hope to use this opportunity to learn and grow in preparation for the future ministry that could be entrusted to Dan and I.
5. Keep in close contact with my friends.  Whether they are here in Chicago, from college or high school-  I have learned that I need women speaking truth into my life and that fellowship for Dan and I is MUCH needed.
6. Organizing.  I love organizing.  It can go overboard for sure- so it's something I need to watch. But when I'm stressed, I organize.  It can be anything- drawers, the refrigerator, magazines, coat closet- you name it, I'll organize it.
7. This is very vague- but I'm working on finding beauty in everything every day.  Whether it's through photography, or just slowing down and going on a walk.  I have the tendency to book it through life looking for the next thing I need to do (hence my "list" problems) that I don't ever slow down.

Things I don't do:

1. Shop organically.  I am sure it is healthier... and sure it could be better for me, but for now we don't have the funds so normal food will have to do.
2. Pay more than $20 for a haircut.  Yes I have had some bad experiences at Great Clips, but here in Chicago, after the tip, $60 just isn't worth it to me.
3. Paint my nails.  It takes up too much time and only lasts a couple days. 
4. Antique shop.  I desperately wish I had this gift- the gift of walking into an antique store or a garage sale and upholstering this old trunk and turning it into a beautiful coffee table- but unfortunately I don't have that gift.  And trust me, I've tried.  It's just not there lol
5. Scrapbook.  I have multiple friends who scrapbook- and they're so good at it.  They give them away as gifts, use it as a serving opportunity, and are super creative.  Unfortunately, I just don't have that gift, or the time.  For now Shutterfly albums will have to do!
6. Shop at Anthropology.  Not only do I not have the money, but I also just don't have the skill to put together outfits from there.  I desperately wish I was that trendy girl who stepped out of one of their magazines, but again I don't have the "eye" for that sort of thing.  It makes me sad sometimes, but I'm slowly getting over it.
7. Fold underwear and turn shirts inside out when I wash them.  Does this bother Dan?  You better believe it (the inside out shirts)!  But, life is just too short to do those kinds of things.  I still recognize my shirt if it's inside out in my drawer- so what's the point?
8. Always say "yes."  This is a work in progress, but I'm working on it.

I've realized that a lot of things on my "don't do" list are qualities/ gifts that I see in other people that I want to be my natural qualities or gifts.  Last year in my Bible study we talked about how everyone in the study has unique gifts, and it's so easy to get caught up in the cycle of wanting a little bit of everyone's gift and not being content in who we were created to be.  I want her gift of hospitality, her ability to cook/ bake, her decorating skills, her cute style, her gentle spirit, her amazing personality that draws everyone in, her artistic/ musical skills, her close walk with the Lord... etc etc. 

But, this past week as I've been compiling this list and thinking about who I really look up to and what I want my life to be about, I realized that I don't really want my life to be about fashion, decorating, etc. (even though it's super easy for me to get caught up in the fact that I do).  The Lord has definitely gifted some of my friends in those ways- but what I struggle with is idolizing those things and wanting to be known for them.  I discovered these past couple weeks that I would rather be known as the woman who is real and honest- those are the women I look up to.  I want to be someone that others can share their struggles with- someone you can relate to, rather than the woman who can do it all and that others idolize to be.  I don't want to be known for my perfectly decorated home, or my cute fashion choices, (or in the words of Shauna, that woman with a "challenging career, beautiful home, and well tended abs.")  but for the way I love the Lord.  The woman who is confident in who she is in Christ- flaws and all. 

So, I would encourage you to make a list like this if you're like me and want to do it all!  I think you'll be surprised about what you really want to do, and what just takes up time :)

Sorry that was long- that's what I get for not posting in a while lol

Oh, and on a totally other random note- how cute is this girl!?

Happy Monday!