So I've been thinking about posting this for a while now. Obviously this is a blog, not my personal journal. So, I don't feel the need to disclose all of my personal information over the Internet, and to be honest with you- you probably don't want to read about it either. But, since we had a specific label for "Jr High" in this blog and have talked about it a good amount of times because it has been a pretty big part of our life these past couple years, I figured I should mention and expand a little bit about how this year we won't be involved in the Jr. High ministry.
It's actually pretty hard for me to type that. We have made some amazing friends, learned a ton about leadership, conflict management, encouragement, had some crazy sleepovers, and had opportunities to build into some great kids and leaders. This is just the start of a long list of ways God used this ministry in our lives.
This past year was an eye opener for us. I think it was the first realization that our church isn't perfect. No church is perfect, and we "knew"that coming in, but didn't really know it until this past year. It's a great and horrible realization all rolled up into one emotional mess. I had this hidden expectation that in the church there should be a bunch of Jesus' walking around and what we really have is a bunch of people trying to be Jesus but failing miserably, or thinking they're Jesus when they're not (myself included). Now looking back I'm glad I realized it when we did. I'd rather it happen now then when we're actually in ministry. I love the lyrics "beautiful the mess we are" because that is what we all are (myself VERY included in that). It's beautiful because it brings us back to the Gospel and how much we need our Savior's grace. I think that's why I've been so passionate about counseling, because it helps people deal with their mess and brings them back to the cross.
Anyway, I'm totally getting off topic from Jr High. Long story short about the last paragraph: God has taught us a lot about ministry in general. Back to Jr High. A while back when I first started this blog I wrote about how I felt I was living my life by simply responding to people. How anytime there was a need, anytime someone needed coffee, anytime they needed someone to lead that group, I was there. I was responding to people and not to God. For the first time in my life these past two weeks I decided to listen to God and not people. Sure there are times when God wants us to listen to those people, but this time I was pretty sure God wanted me to listen to Him. He wanted me to listen to how much He is instilling a passion for counseling in me and how He is allowing me the privilege of taking classes to learn more about Him in preparation for ministry in the future. He was reminding me how I am always so over committed with ministry and people that I run myself dry simply because I can't say "no." He was showing me what He has been trying to teach me for the past year- slow down.
This was a much harder decision for Dan. The kids LOVE Dan; and he is SO great with the kids. On the other hand, the kids liked me, and I managed to have awkward conversations with them. Huge difference. While he is a great leader and such a great asset to the ministry, after a lot of processing as well he really felt that he needed to get involved in a ministry that was less time consuming. (He's taking 7 hours this semester, plus working full time- and 4 of those hours is a Greek class- which is slowly overtaking his life.) I think for the first time since we've been married he's got more on his plate than me! Our goal and passion is to do ministry for the rest of our lives. We don't know what that is going to look like, but we feel called to that. And, right now we have a great opportunity to be prepared for the future ministry that is going to be entrusted to us. After taking a hard look at his schedule and praying a TON about the situation, he realized he wouldn't have the time he wanted or the time it would take to really build into the kids and the ministry this year.
This Sunday was very different. Normally we are going to the 9:00 a.m. church service to get home to get in a quick nap before Jr High, and it was really hard knowing a lot of our close friends were at the church hanging out with the kids, kicking off the ministry year and we weren't there. It was such a big part of our life that it's hard to let it go. I'm sure it will take a couple weeks and it won't be easy, but we're excited to see how God is going to use this time in a different way. We may not have as many funny blog posts about the crazy things the Jr highers do, but I'm sure we'll find some other form of entertainment for you :)
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