The future & waiting

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”- yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.  Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 

 James 4:13-16

For the revelation awaits an appointed time...though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. 
Habakkuk 2:3 
I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord. 
Psalm 27:13-14

When a verse about the future "happens" to show up in my life twice in a week, and I just "happen" to be praying/ thinking/ stressing out about my future, I tend to take that as my cue that I better listen.  

Not only that... since reading that verse, two others about waiting (from Habakkuk and the Psalms) showed up in my Bible study this week.  I have been SO encouraged by the Lord  during this "period of waiting."

I started thinking about why I so badly wanted to know where we would be in a year, (or two... or three) and what direction we should go.  I never thought of my anxiousness as prideful, but this verse in James hit it on the nail for me.  I'm so worried about our future and where we're headed that not only do I miss out on the "now," but I find myself coveting the desire to appear like we have a plan- like my friends in med school or those in business that have careers with a pretty clear set of plans lined up for them.  I like that (false) sense of security of knowing the direction we are going.  

Sometimes I feel like that insecure 18 year old all over again getting asked what I want to do with my life as I go off to college.  Thankfully, James in this passage reminds me that even if I think I have a plan, we're not in control of our future and who am I to even say that I'll be here in a year?  Obviously, that doesn't mean we shouldn't plan anything for fear that tomorrow won't come, but I've realized the kind of plan I am looking for is definite.  I want to know exactly where we are headed and don't want anything to get in the way. 

Let's just say it's really difficult for me to dive into the unknown or hold my plans with an open hand.  I don't like surprises... ask Dan.  

And you know what?  The other day I was with some friends I hadn't seen in a while and they asked me how Dan and I were doing and what the next couple years brought for us, and it actually felt pretty good to just simply say "I'm not sure.  I genuinely have no idea what our next step is."

But, I'm ok with that.  Right now I'm relaxing in God's timing and enjoying the gift of today, knowing that He will direct us as long as we stay close to him (Habakkuk 2:3).  I'm trying to learn to enjoy "the now" and all the wonderful things that entails and be thankful.

You know what's even more convicting? Most of the verses that pertain to waiting in the Bible are meant to be an encouragement when people are in a really difficult situation.  I get impatient with waiting and we're not even going through a trial- we've actually experienced the opposite- lots of blessings this past year!   

So, I've finally started to learn something about the future.  That I will in fact, never know the specifics of my future.  So, while we have dreams and goals and hopes, we ultimately surrender them to God, wait for Him, and hold on for the ride. 

Pretty profound, right?  I have a feeling that this waiting is going to be easier "said" than "done."

PS: We're headed to Ohio/ Pennsylvania this weekend to go to a wedding and visit some family.  Hope you have a lovely weekend and happy fourth!