Examining my motivation

I've noticed there is a huge difference between doing something because we're loved (with that being our motivation) as opposed to doing something in order to be loved.  

In my marriage, when I do something nice for Dan (which obviously is a daily occurrence... haha I wish I was that selfless.  It's much more accurate to say that it SHOULD be a daily occurrence), if I do it with the motivation of expecting a certain reaction or to receive something in return,  I am anxiously waiting for that response.  If I don't get that 'said reaction', it can lead to disappointment.  

On the other hand, if I do something for him simply because he's my husband and I love him (no hidden agenda), I have no expectations.  I actually enjoy the "serving him part," as opposed to only anticipating his reaction.  I've realized serving in that way is MUCH more freeing and actually more biblical.

Below is a great description [from here] of the difference between doing something in order to be loved by God, as opposed to doing something because we're loved by God.   I found the difference to be quite surprising.

Because I am loved, I can humble myself.

When I’m trying to be loved, I must build myself up to look better.

Because I am loved, I can cast all my anxiety on Him.

When I’m trying to be loved, I cast all my anxiety on my performance.

Because I am loved, I can resist Satan and stand firm in my faith.

When I’m trying to be loved, I listen to Satan and stand uncertain trying to rely on my feelings.

Because I am loved, I know God will use this to make me stronger – and I want that.

When I’m trying to be loved, I don’t want to be made stronger – I want life to be easier.