Unsolicited Advice.



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I can't tell you how thankful I was to read this blog post around Mother's Day.  I think because it's become pretty obvious that I'm pregnant at this point (4 days from my due date), I have gotten lots of unsolicited advice from strangers.  Last week on our way to the Cubs game in Chicago, my co workers and I were crammed on the red line and they got to experience first hand what I experience on what feels like a daily basis.  It was one of those moments where you wish you could desperately get away, however, if anyone has been on the CTA on their way to a Cubs game, you know there is no escaping.  So, for what seemed like an hour, (which was probably 10 minutes) I listened to a guy tell me about each of his children's birth, when his wife went to the hospital and therefore when I should go to the hospital, and lots of other intimate details that I definitely was not expecting.  I was VERY thankful when someone offered me their seat so I could politely back down from the conversation.  This is a pretty common occurrence for me- from standing in line at Noodles & Company, to shopping in the grocery store, to walking back to my car in a parking lot- I've been told lots of "interesting" bits of information regarding what my life is going to look like with a baby.

What is the common denominator in all of those conversations?  Unfortunately, most people pretty much tell you the worst.  They don't mean to, but I think that they assume I must be extremely naive and have no idea what I am getting myself into because everyone feels the need to inform me that I'm not going to sleep for the next 5 years... that Dan and I will never get alone time for the rest of our lives... that I am making a huge sacrifice and it is going to feel like that... a sacrifice... and that I can bank on not getting alone time until they leave for college.  While I "know" what they say carry truth with them, I won't fully know until I am holding my baby in my arms and am experiencing it for myself.

That's why I loved Laura's blog post.  Because while she talked about the lack of sleep and the changes their baby brought to their marriage, she talked about what you rarely hear- how amazing it is to hold your baby in your arms, to watch your husband take care of your son or daughter, and the joys that come with being a mother.  I am sure those feelings are much harder to describe to someone who's expecting, so what comes out is "good luck sleeping for the next couple weeks!" however if I've learned anything from my experience, I really hope that if I feel the need to talk to someone about their pregnancy, that I share with them the positive, not the negative.  I've seen the difficult parenting moments and trust me, I already am scared that I will be that mom who has a screaming child at church all the while feeling the stares from people watching, waiting to see how I am going to handle the situation.

This could just be me.  There may be moms to be who needed to be brought back to reality about the realities of having a baby.  However I have found that more often than not, that is what people are already sharing.  So, I hope to be different.  I hope to remind them that although it's probably a little scary and nerve wracking knowing that your life is going to change drastically in the next couple weeks, the blessings you experience are even more.  I know.. this is coming from someone who hasn't even had her baby yet.  But, it's mom's like Laura who give me hope that there are blessings that come with parenthood- so I'm going to put my hope in that right now :)