Thoughts on Abortion + the Life Jesus Calls us to

I have to be honest with you guys- a midst all of this Planned Parenthood controversy at times I have turned to Dan and asked him if it's even worth posting anything on social media about this.  Everyone is so passionate about abortion and seems to have their mind made up and if you really know me, I am not someone who enjoys talking "politics" at. all.

But this issue is so much deeper than politics, and for me it's not political, it's just plain personal. Yes I am a mother and yes I have been feeling little kicks in my belly for the past (almost) 20 weeks, but it goes even further than that.  Every time I read something that tries to explain that the innocent killing of a baby for ANY reason is ok, my heart just sinks.

And really what put me over the edge is watching this video.

Call me a cold person, but I really haven't cried while watching any of the videos that have gone viral where planned parenthood has described in detail the process of actually killing a baby.  Don't get me wrong, it makes me sad and I want something to be done, but I wasn't at the point where I was physically sobbing over this issue until watching this video. The night I saw this I couldn't help but break down- not just in sadness over how "human" a fetus is even at 8 weeks, but mainly just how terribly sad I felt that our culture is being fed this lie that choosing to kill someone is actually making a good choice.

At the heart of it, abortion truly is all about the exaltation of self.  And it's the total opposite life that God calls us to live, and the total opposite life that Jesus lived for you and for me.

I've shared Lindsay's story on my blog MANY times before, but she shares something truly beautiful on her blog about this issue.  And this comes from a woman who has carried two babies to full term, knowing ahead of time from doctors that they would't live much longer than a day outside of the womb.  When she was presented with the option of aborting her baby for the sake of future fertility, she said she was reminded that:

"This is what Jesus did, he laid down his life for me, so that I could live.  He knew what it would cost Him and determined it was worth the cost... that my chance at life was worth laying down His life."

And over and over again Jesus tells us how losing our life for the sake of the Gospel is oh so incredibly worth it.  The joy that comes from living for more than yourself is so much greater.  And I desperately want to sit with these women who are wondering what they should do in light of the news that they are pregnant and unprepared and simply have a conversation with them.  Maybe they are a teenager, maybe they are a single working woman with a promising career, or maybe they simply don't feel ready to be a parent- whatever their story is, I want to tell them that choosing to live how Jesus lived- laying down your life for another, will bring much greater JOY than choosing to kill for the sake of convenience.  No matter how convincing anyone sounds in that moment that you will be better off if you kill this baby, I truly believe that any woman who makes that decision will spend the rest of their life needing to convince themselves that they made the right decision.

I volunteered with a friend and co worker years ago at a clinic that gives resources to teenage girls who are pregnant here in Chicago.  I honestly wanted to sit down with each girl and tell them how brave they were.  I wanted to hug them and thank them for choosing to give this child growing inside of them an opportunity at life.  No matter what the decision was that brought this child to life inside of them, these girls, in a weird way, were heroes to me.  I know for a fact they were presented with the opportunity to get rid of this child.  Maybe it was at 6 weeks before their bellies were showing, maybe it was at 20 weeks, maybe it was every week of their pregnancy they were presented with the opportunity to kill for convenience, and they chose life.  Despite the stares they got in school, the whispers, the rumors, the gossip.  They chose to lay down their reputation for the life of the child growing inside of them. And in my eyes they were heroes.

And this is what we, as Christians, need to be doing.  I can't tell you how many times Dan and I had the conversation when we were going through our season of infertility that we desperately just wanted to go to an abortion clinic and tell every woman wrestling with what decision to make that we would take their child.  That we would make sure their little baby was taken cared for.  That we would raise their child up in a loving home and that child would have an awesome big brother and parents who loved them more than they could even imagine.  I don't even know if something like this is possible but it should be.  We should have a list of families who are willing to adopt a child, or who are willing to give up their time, resources, and finances to support these women who are faced with this decision.  Instead of shaming women who are even considering an abortion, we need to be there to give them hope and provide them with another option.

I have felt God prompting me to write this for a while.  Not to condemn anyone who has had an abortion or make anyone feel shamed for even considering one- I personally don't know what it's like to be pregnant and not be prepared.  I'm sure the emotions are extremely overwhelming, and I'm sure there are many reasons someone can think of that would make them think they would be better off without the baby that is growing inside of them.  I just feel a strong need to share that living the life of Jesus- laying your life down for another- will bring much greater joy than choosing to live for self.  I feel God teaching me this not just in the big decisions in life but also in the daily small ones as well.  I'm sure nothing said here is new to many, but I just pray that this perspective gives a glimpse of hope to someone who needs it today.

A lesson over Mac and Cheese

So tonight, being the stellar mom that I am, I was making Jake some mac and cheese for dinner.  Before you start throwing judgement my way, I didn't use the blue box which requires difficult operations of the stove, I used the small cup where you simply fill the water up to the designated line and heat it up for 3 minutes in the microwave.  Now you may judge.

Jake, was LOVING the fact that I was making him something in the microwave so he asked that I pick him up to see.  Since I was simultaneously making myself a summer pasta (side note: super good recipe from Pinterest) I didn't have the free hands to hold him for the 3 minutes so I pulled a chair up to the microwave and let him stand on it to watch his pasta go in circles.  (Oh the joy toddlers find in things lol)

When it beeped, I brought the powdered cheese packet over to pour in but Jake insisted on doing it himself.  I knew exactly where this was going.  In that moment, I had a choice- do it myself and make sure I avoid a mess, OR let him try.  I opened a super small sliver in the corner for him to pour the cheese out of and told him that the best part of this exercise was getting all of the cheese in the pasta cup.  Of course, he shook it vigorously and the cheese went everywhere, to which he pointed at the floor and said "Uh Oh!"  Sighing, I replied under my breath, "Yes, Jake, that is exactly the uh oh I was trying to avoid."  And then, in true toddler fashion, he did something that totally threw me off.  He looked at me and said, "Thank you, Mama!"  Then he crawled off the chair and headed to play with his mower until his mac and cheese cooled down.

This parenting thing has totally rocked my world.  I have this child who thanks me for giving him the opportunity to put powdered cheese in his mac and cheese, and I'm left about ready to cry in the kitchen because he is so thankful for such a small thing that I just viewed as such an inconvenience.

And then that made me think of the other day when we were at a friends birthday party and he is chasing around a bunch of kids.  Of course, Jake gravitates toward the older kids and starts running around with them.  They start to run behind a shed and from a distance I see Jake start to follow them.  The kids emerge from the other side but I don't see Jake.  I start to walk over there to figure out where he went and I see him slowly walking around the other way.  I'm sure what happened is these kids ran too fast for him and he just turned around because he realized he couldn't catch up.

That night, laying in bed, I was thinking about the day and Jake playing with those kids, and I literally started tearing up.  This was the first time where I witnessed Jake feeling "left out" and it completely broke my heart.  (way more than it bothered Jake lol)  I don't think that Jake thought about it for more than 2 seconds, but my mommy protective heart felt overwhelmed by what was to come.  I started thinking about middle school and the awkward moments and the heartbreaks and the cliques and I didn't ever want him to experience that kind of hurt.

And it reminded me of this picture I saw on Pinterest the other day:

via

I honestly don't know if a picture like this should go in a nursery or in my bedroom.  This little guy has stolen my heart and sometimes the love I feel for him is so overwhelming it scares me.  It scares me because I feel myself wanting to shield him from everything awful in this world and anything that can hurt him, and then I become even more scared because I realize that is impossible.  And that's when I realize that this is true parenting.  Yes, I loved Jake when he was 2 months and 6 months and 18 months, but this feeling I have for him, it's just beginning the long journey in parenthood. This balance of letting go and holding on and training and raising up and preparing to go out on his own is hard stuff and let's be honest, I haven't even really gotten my feet wet.  Parenting is such a huge blessing and privilege and so so hard all at the same time.  And I find myself thanking God one moment for the amazing gift and questioning Him the next wondering how he could ever entrust our little man to me.

And then I remember the gospel.  That God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that we could spend eternity in heaven.  That He who is in us is greater than he who is in the world.  And I remember that while we were still sinners Christ died for us.  And I can breath easy because I know that we have a God who loves Jake even more than I do or ever could.  And this Savior loves me just as much and doesn't leave me to do this parenting thing on my own.  And I am so thankful because I don't know how I could do this alone, because  really, you can't.

And all this came from a little boy thanking his mom for letting him help prepare his mac and cheese.

Goodness + Love

I grew up attending a more traditional Methodist church.  Every Sunday we sang hymns - and to a middle schooler they appeared just a *tad* lame.  It felt like we were singing the same thing over and over again.  I honestly couldn't wait until we finished some of them.  My brothers and I even had our favorites and to no one's surprise they were usually the shorter ones (anyone ever sing Jesu?! lol)

Then we started attending more non denominational churches.  Their "hip, contemporary" music was much more interesting to me and I would consider it more my style.  However, the problem with this thinking was that I was making worship all about me: What I liked. My preferences.  It was not about worshipping God, I was essentially concerned about if the music was suiting my needs.  Only here in America can we have churches that offer three different services with different types of music to suite our needs. 

Well before I go on more of a rant about something that probably could be discussed in a whole other post, I wanted to tell you about my new excitement and fascination with hymns.  Over the past few years I have really listened to the words in some of our ancient hymns and holy moly.  These writers had one heck of a walk with God.  They said things like this:

{All found here}

This past week we sang the song "Blessed Assurance" and in it are the lyrics listed above "Filled with his goodness, lost in His love."  As those words scrolled across the screen I couldn't help but think how powerful they were.  Very rarely do I stop (even though I should more) and ask myself when I am singing a song, is this true of me?  Are these lyrics declaring real truth in my life or am I just reading the words? 

How differently would my life look like if I truly was filled with His goodness and lost in His love.  I decided to take some time and search for scriptures that talk about how God embodies these things:

Psalm 27: 13-14

"I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living. 
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord."

Psalm 23:6

"Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever."

Psalm 116: 12-13

"What shall I return to the Lord

for all his goodness to me?

I will lift up the cup of salvation

and call on the name of the Lord."

Although in the hymn the writer is referring to a time when he will be heaven, the scriptures I found relate specifically to here on earth.  We can see God's goodness now.  We are filled with his love and goodness (fruits of the Spirit: Galatians 5) now.  If I was filled with God's goodness and lost in His love I would....

Trust Him more in every circumstance of my life. 

See the bigger picture and not get bogged down in the day to day stresses.

Praise Him for the smallest things.

Be more thankful.

Share the message of the gospel more.

There are so many ways my life would be changed by the truth from this hymn.  And while I would still call myself a K Love kind of a gal, these hymns and their powerful lyrics are definitely growing on me.





Haven't lost hope

Recently I was reading through 2 Corinthians 4 and felt great comfort when Paul admitted to being "perplexed, but not driven to despair."
After looking up the following definitions I found myself relating all too much to what the apostles felt:

Perplexed: Filled with uncertainty. Puzzled. Baffled. Confounded.

Despair: Lose hope or confidence.  To lose heart.

Right before Jake was born Dan and I were faced with a pretty difficult situation.  It wasn't difficult in a sense that most people would think, but it was difficult because we found ourselves questioning our calling and feeling rather confused about our future.  Dan was offered a job that appeared to be a dream job for anyone in our position.  He would receive great training that would jump start a new career for him- the type of one we had been pursuing and praying about for the past four years.  On paper, it was the perfect opportunity. 

Well, this is where you insert the big "but" for us.  For some reason, we did not feel a peace about the decision.  Don't get me wrong, we didn't base our whole decision on feeling, there were other aspects of the job that had its red flags.  However we could have overlooked those had we felt the excitement, passion, and desire that we felt should have been there.  I actually prayed that I would feel it.  It would make things so much easier for us.  Yet after weeks of praying it never came and so we had to say no.  We knew that we couldn't accept the job offer.

Needless to say we were perplexed- really confused about why that job wasn't meant for us.  And to be honest with you, I have to admit that at times I was (and still can be) driven to despair.  I start to lose hope in where God is taking us and the plan he has for our future.  We have questioned if we did the right thing because the job seemed so right. 

However, if we go back to the text, afterwards Paul talks about how the apostles carried the death of Jesus in their bodies so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.  Paul is saying that it's not going to be easy- we're going to face trouble, loneliness, hardship, and be confused, however this happens so that Jesus will be glorified.  Adversity is not inconsistent with the Christian life- and it is in that very weakness that the life of Jesus will be revealed.

That is where I find hope.  I find hope that somewhere in this perplexing situation Jesus is going to use it.  I can be assured that God still has a plan for our family and He is still going to use us, even if it doesn't go the way we thought it would.  And so once again, I am brought to a place of dependency- not on myself but on God and His leading regarding our future.

via

A New Day

"For Christians the beginning of the day should not be burdened and oppressed with besetting concerns for the day’s work. At the threshold of the new day stands the Lord who made it. All the darkness and distraction of the dreams of night retreat before the clear light of Jesus Christ and his wakening Word. All unrest, all impurity, all care and anxiety flee before him. Therefore, at the beginning of the day let all distraction and empty talk be silenced and let the first thought and the first word belong to him to whom our whole life belongs. “Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.”

-Bonhoeffer, Life Together

I feel like I need to read this every. single. morning.  I can't tell you how quickly the day can slip by and before I know it I haven't spent any time in the Word or even thinking about God.  It's such a tragedy when I go through the day in my own strength and time and time again I find myself tired, exhausted, and wondering what the point of it all was as I spent my time changing diapers, cleaning toilets, and doing laundry (just a fun glimpse into my yesterday :).  Thankfully, everything I do can be done to give God glory, but that requires a change in my mindset and a change in my pace.  That change will only come if I pause first thing in the morning and remember my Creator and purpose.  This is just a small glimpse into something God has been teaching me this past month- and while it may seem simple, it's amazing how many needs a little newborn can have :)

Here's another good convicting post about getting in the Word first thing.

via

Isn't it Ironic?

Is it ironic that by being an internet busy body I found an article that convicted me of that very sin - being an internet busy body? 

Most of you may say, "Surprise, surprise- for years I have said that Facebook is a time waster."  Yet I always tend to defend my hour or more internet browsing sessions by saying that I read a lot of devotionals and Christian blogs.  I'm not just gawking at Facebook or reading the latest gossip on Kim Kardashian (I get that by simply reading the covers of magazines when I'm checking out at Jewel), I'm reading articles that increase my faith and help me be a better homemaker, friend, and wife.  Or at least that's what I've been telling myself. Until recently I read this quote:

Sin is giving in to the temptation to be a busy-body by giving my attention to worthless and sometimes meaningless information that swirls around in my head, taking up mind and heart space that should be occupied by prayers and purpose.

In this internet age there is SO much information.  Tons of it.  Tons of great articles, great blogs, great insights.  Yet, at what point do I stop gathering information and start acting on it?  At what point does my internet Christian reading actually become a time waster because I'm not spending my time the way God wants me to.  What if God would rather me walk away from my computer and actually start living out my faith, whether it be serving my husband better, or writing a note to a friend, or talking directly to Him through pray rather than just reading about Him all the time?

During these past couple years of being a "blogger," I have found many blogs written by godly women who share what the Lord is doing in their life.   And can I be completely honest with you?  Recently I have found myself sharing more about what God is teaching other people and how interesting I find it to be, than what God is actually teaching me. That is pretty painful to admit.

On one hand I love sharing helpful articles and blogs written by other people and my hope is that people read them and are encouraged.  On the other hand, normally what I share just stimulated my thinking for about 5 minutes and that was it.  Very rarely do I take to heart what they are saying because I quickly find another godly article that stimulates my faith in a different way and soon enough I've forgotten the previous thought.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is a lot of great wisdom flowing into my mind from other blogs but I'm not sure how these things are actually changing my life.  I don't see a lot of the wisdom that I am reading about impacting how I actually live out my life for God.  And, I'm pretty sure it's because I'm an internet busy body.  Moving from one spiritual insight to the next.

So, here's what I've decided.  To keep myself in check, I'm going to wait sharing whatever it is that I find on line, until I have really taken in the information.  Until I have prayed about what God wanted to teach me through that article or blog.  Until I am seeing some type of fruit from what the other person shared. This doesn't mean I can never again mention an interesting article or blog that I found as an aside (that would just be silly).  And I am certainly not saying this is what everyone needs to do before they share an article.   But, right now, where I am, it is what I  need to do to keep myself in check.  I've seen my sin, I've repented, and I'm turning in a different direction.  This is me turning :)

You may not be a Steelers Fan...

... but even if you aren't you should watch this video!  I grew up in a torn family- my brothers being Browns fans and my parents being Steelers fans (We were born in Pittsburgh and they grew up there).  I'll have to admit, I cheer for the Steelers more mainly because they win more :) And, I have always liked Troy Polamalu, and this video proves why. 

A different outlook on the New Year

I read this quote here and had to share it with you.

Last night in our Bible study we talked about our "If Only's" and things that we put our hope in.  Quickly the conversation turned to a different topic: our fulfilled hopes.  We all realized that when our hopes were fulfilled, they were soon replaced with other hopes, showing us that our previous "hopes" were not satisfying.  (How's that for 3 "hopes" in a sentence?!)  Once our desires were met, we moved onto the next one.  Oh, how I've seen this pattern in my life.  Just 4 years ago in 2008 I was dying to have a ring on my finger.  Once that happened, I was dying to get married, then it was paying off, debt... what's next?  While I have loved being married to Daniel, he ultimately will not fulfill all of my needs.  I think he likes that pressure taken off him, too ;)

In the book "Keep A Quiet Heart," Elisabeth Elliot encourages us to focus on the most important of New Year's hopes:

“Will the young woman find a mate? Will the couple have a child? Maybe this year will be the year of desire fulfilled. Perhaps, on the other hand, it will be the year of desire radically transformed, the year of finding, as we have perhaps not yet truly found, Christ to be the All-Sufficient One, Christ the ‘deep sweet well of Love’”

This year I desire for one hope: to know Christ and to be found in Him.

A prayer

One of my friends in my Bible Study sent this prayer to me.  In her words if you want something to "wreck" you, read this and examine your heart.  I have to agree with her- this was a pretty convicting prayer to read!  She got it from "A Diary of Private Prayer" by John Baille.

O Merciful Father, who dost look down upon the weaknesses of Thy human children more in pity than in anger, and more in love than in pity, let me now in Thy holy presence inquire into the secrets of my heart.

Have I today done anything to fulfill the purpose for which Thou didst cause me to be born?
Have I accepted such opportunities of service as Thou in Thy wisdom has set before my feet?
Have I performed without omission the plain duties of the day?
       Give me grace to answer honestly O God.
Have I today done anything to tarnish my Christian ideal of womanhood?
Have I been lazy in body or languid in spirit?
Have I kept my imagination pure an healthy?
Have I been scrupulously honorable in all my business dealings?
Have I been transparently sincere in all I have professed to be, to feel, or to do?
       Give me grace to answer honestly, O God.
Have I tried today to see myself as others see me?
Have I made more excuses for myself than I ave been willing to make for others?
Have I, in my own home, been a peace-maker or have I stirred up strife?
Have I, while professing noble sentiments for great causes and distant objects, failed even in common charity and courtesy towards those nearest to me?        
       Give me grace to answer honestly O God.

O thou whose infinite love, made manifest in Jesus Christ, alone has power to destroy the empire of evil in my soul, grant that with each day that passes I may more and more be delivered from my besetting sins.

Thoughts on Thoughts

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Phil 4:8

So I've been thinking a lot lately.  I mean, I'm always thinking, but lately I've been thinking about what I'm thinking about. 

I've learned in these past couple years that my thoughts can make me anxious.  If Dan doesn't call me back right away, 30 seconds later, before I even know it, I'm envisioning him in some horrible car accident.  Crazy?  Yes.  Unfortunately, my mind goes there, and it goes there way too quickly. 

So how do I not go there?  Well, in Philippians Paul talks about combating anxiousness by praying and allowing the peace of God to guard our hearts and minds.

Then, he advises us to think about certain things: 

Honorable things. 

Just things.

Lovely things. 

Pure things. 

Commendable things.

Excellent things. 

Praiseworthy things.

Ok, so what now.  I tell myself to stop thinking negative things and start thinking about these specific things?

Yes, yes you do.  Why?  Because in verse 9 it says practice these things and the peace of God will be with you.

A question posed in my Bible study, The Upside Down series, encouraged me to think about how my life would be different if I focused on eternity throughout the day.  Let me tell you, my list was long.  Real long. Probably too long.

I wouldn't sweat the small stuff and I would have a big picture.

I'd live for an audience of one and stop people pleasing.

I'd drive slower, eat slower... do everything slower.

I'd pray much more.

I would focus on people more and tasks less. 

etc. etc. etc.

Bottom line: Changing my thinking will change my actions.  What we think about and how we think is extremely powerful.  More powerful than I realized.  And how do I change the way I think?  Practice and discipline, with the help of the Holy Spirit.  Refocusing my mind on what is important, praying for a changed heart, and trusting my actions will follow.  It's amazing how much less stress I put on myself when I refocus on eternity.

Annnnd there was rest.

We made it.  We are on the other end of a long 3 day journey through seminary.  

And I celebrated by ironing and doing the dishes.  It feels so good to be back ;)

Here is what it looked like:

I managed to squeeze in a good half an hour at a bridal shower for my friend Lindsay on Monday night. 

Gorgeous, right? I was about ready to just relax in that pool

Opening gifts :)

Annnd the rest of our nights looked like this. 

This may or may not have been my motivation these past three days.  And I may or may not have treated myself to a celebratory one last night.... so much for looking good at my brother's wedding right?

Then we needed a change of scenery so we went to Panera.  Dan was very diligent :)

These are the next books we are going to be diving into next week.  Hello fall semester

Although fitting this class into 3 days was crazy, it was probably one of my favorite.  We basically just talked about our calling.  How are each of us wired? What are our strengths and weaknesses?  Our talents, emotional intelligence, strengths finder, etc.  If you like those personality tests, this class was perfect for you.

Yesterday we ended class by pairing up and sharing our stories.  A woman shared with me her struggle to find love when she was younger and what it was like to experience God's forgiveness after her painful decision to abort two babies.  I heard from another guy who grew up on the South side of Chicago with no father, and was truly hand picked by God to minister to men in that area, having a pastor pay for his education at Trinity.   Such. good. stuff.  It's days like these that all the studying and crazy paper writing are so worth it.

And the first day our professor challenged us by reading Psalm 139 and asked us:

Do you believe that God created you with specific talents and abilities for a purpose?

Do you believe that God thinks precious thoughts about you?

That we were carefully made... everything about us?

I was definitely challenged.  Especially when he said that understanding God has uniquely created us for something specific gives us the freedom to no longer compare ourselves with others and desire their talents.  I am so thankful for the wisdom our professor poured out on us these past couple days.  

The Ordinary Pastor Series

I know I often tend to talk about CJ Mahaney a lot, but I subscribe to his blog and I am always encouraged by what he has to say.  I can truly say that when I see "C.J. Mahaney's view from the cheap seats & other stuff" pop up in my inbox, I definitely get excited.  Below is a quote from his post today.

I found it encouraging not just for the "ordinary pastor" that he is writing to, but for the ordinary mom, ordinary student, ordinary friend... the list could go on and on.  I found this to be such a sweet excerpt from a son's perspective of how he remembered his dad.  I would be more than thankful to be remembered in such a way.

Tom Carson never rose very far in denominational structures, but hundreds of people in the Outaouais and beyond testify how much he loved them. He never wrote a book, but he loved the Book. He was never wealthy or powerful, but he kept growing as a Christian: yesterday’s grace was never enough. He was not a far-sighted visionary, but he looked forward to eternity. He was not a gifted administrator, but there is no text that says, “By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you are good administrators.” His journals have many, many entries bathed in tears of contrition, but his children and grandchildren remember his laughter. Only rarely did he break through his pattern of reserve and speak deeply and intimately with his children, but he modeled Christian virtues to them. He much preferred to avoid controversy than to stir things up, but his own commitments to historic confessionalism were unyielding, and in ethics he was a man of principle. His own ecclesiastical circles were rather small and narrow, but his reading was correspondingly large and expansive. He was not very good at putting people down, except on his prayer lists.

When he died, there were no crowds outside the hospital, no editorial comments in the papers, no announcements on television, no mention in Parliament, no attention paid by the nation. In his hospital room there was no one by his bedside. There was only the quiet hiss of oxygen, vainly venting because he had stopped breathing and would never need it again.

But on the other side all the trumpets sounded. Dad won entrance to the only throne room that matters, not because he was a good man or a great man—he was, after all, a most ordinary pastor—but because he was a forgiven man. And he heard the voice of him whom he longed to hear saying, “Well done, good and faithful servant; enter into the joy of your Lord."

I am second

You know what is frustrating?  The fact that I have the fullness of joy in Christ yet I continually seek other things for that joy, realizing in the end they don't even compare.  I wish I could fully grasp this truth, that nothing else compares to knowing Christ.  Unfortunately, it's something I need to remind myself daily.

Pete Briscoe, in the video below, shares how he thought being the star at his high school basketball game would bring him this unknown happiness that he had yet to experience.

I couldn't help but think about myself in high school and how I had similar dreams of wanting to be popular and cool.  I was a people pleaser to the core, desiring for everybody to like me.  Well, I got a "glimpse" of this so called "popular life" when I was nominated and won prom queen my senior year.

And you how much that experience impacted my life?  Not.... at.... all.  I still had the same friends.  My relationship with Dan didn't change.  I wasn't all of the sudden the coolest person in the school.  And I didn't feel any differently, even though I thought I would.  They basically took my picture and put it in the yearbook. Woo hoo.  Big deal.  Most of you (if you knew me in high school) probably don't even remember.  That's how much cooler it made me.

But, what really disappoints me is I have the same tendency today to think like that insecure teenager.  Believing the lie that I will find some "unknown" joy in something else other than my relationship with Christ.

Pete Briscoe, apart of the "I am second" video series below, shares a similar experience.  (If you're interested in other videos like this, Tony Dungy, Sam Bradford and Colt McCoy, Bethany Hamilton, and Ashley Rawls- a beauty pageant winner, have some other good ones)

It's definitely worth a watch :)

Back on the road

Happy Monday! This past weekend we were in Indianapolis visiting friends from college: Luke, Brittany, and Jamie!  I am so glad that we planned it- sometimes it can be difficult to get away for a weekend, but Dan and I always forget how close Indy is from Chicago.  (When there's no snow and no traffic on 65:) We had a blast - we stayed up until 3 in the morning reminiscing about college and discussing our faith- in a hot tub while my hair turned into icicles lol-  ate AMAZING food in downtown (we nnneeed to get a Huddles ice cream shop in Chicago!) sipped on mimosas while catching up with Jamie's friends at her house, and met some new friends that we will be going to Florida with in March!  We were so encouraged and thankful to Luke, Brittany, and Jamie for their hospitality, all the food they treated us to,  and the fact that they gave up their weekends to hang out with us!  

And, we went to College Park - Luke and Brittany's church.  It's a pretty big church and Dan and I met someone in our counseling class last summer who was on staff there so it was fun to check it out! They talked about faithfulness (in light of Christ's return in Matthew 25: 14)  and how in this fast paced society that is a characteristic that is not cherished.  The pastor interviewed an 89 year old man who has been walking with the Lord since he was in med school and it was SO sweet to see his heart for God and discipleship and how he is still pouring his life into 7 other men in the church on a weekly basis.  He is definitely the epitome of 2 Timothy 4:7: I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  

As always, being gone for the weekend makes Monday a little busy with grocery shopping (thankfully we caught up on laundry yesterday!) but we hope to survive this week in light of the crazy blizzard we are supposed to get!  Have a great week!

Us at St. Elmo's in downtown Indy

Worth checking out

I know on my last blog post I said Happy Thanksgiving, but I read a couple things early this morning that I want to share with you :)

First, check out this song.  As always - K Love is starting to over play it so jump on the band wagon lol

I read this great post about personal holiness this morning.  This past Sunday morning at 7a.m. Dan and I went to pray over the prayer requests at our church, and can I tell you how many people are just plain hurting?  Husbands have left wives, diseases are winning the battle, kids are making poor decisions, but mostly everyone wants a renewed heart for the Lord- to know Him deeper and come to a point where they desire nothing but Him.  This world is plagued with temptations that continually draw us to search for our purpose in things other than the Lord- Who ultimately is the only One who will satisfy our deepest desire.  We know it- yet we continue to run in the complete opposite direction.  I hope this encourages you a little today :)

On a complete opposite note, how cute is this party?

In light of the holidays coming up, I watched The Holiday this weekend while writing our return address on our Christmas Cards.  I remembered back in the day when I used to just wish that my Christmas would turn out exactly like that- ending up with the perfect guy, the perfect outfit, and perfectly happy.  Lina gives us a much more realistic picture of the holidays in her blog post.

Lastly, speaking of the holidays, I just can't get over this really great hairstyle.  Maybe it's the beautiful red hair, but it is just really classy :)

Happy Tuesday!

Rest

So I get these Proverbs 31 devotionals and I found this one particularly unique in the way they examined the Sabbath - something I definitely don't do as often as I should.  In the devo they talk about how the Jewish people spent three days preparing for Sabbath, and three days reflecting on what they had learned or encountered of God during the Sabbath.

Keri Wyatt Kent, author of Breathe, writes, "This creates a rhythm of life that puts our focus not on our stuff or our schedule but on the opportunity to meet with God.  We are created in the image of God, and he modeled for us a way of life that makes sense for how we are created. Here's how to dance the dance of life, he said: work, be creative, use your imagination, throw yourself into it, whether you are washing dishes, reading to your kids and running a household, or trading stocks, reading corporate reports, and running a business. ...At the end of each day, stop. Take a rest, eat a good meal, get enough sleep, and refresh yourself. Take time to think about your day, to notice where God was in it and where you were blessed, and to say, "It's good." Then go back at it the next day. And after six days, take a whole day off. And say, "It's really good." Spend a whole day just pausing, just reflecting on how really good it is, and then start the dance again, at a sustainable pace."

Happy Thursday

Purpose

"Human life is absolutely significant; every fleeting thought, every choice, every experience matter. [This] God calls you to faith, obedience, and responsibility. Because His purposes will not be thwarted, you can leap to the call, learning to be courageous, optimistic, persevering in love through troubles. His purposes sustain you through it all. His rule establishes the significance of our choices. Any other view would be absurd- human life counts, God's will controls. His will of control is to be trusted as the frame of reference behind every experience, his will of command is to be obeyed with all our heart." Seeing with New Eyes by Powlison. Pg 47