Back Injuries and other musings

So I threw my back out.  Can I just say I've never had any back problems ever in my life.  I know people who have gotten injured in sports or had back issues from running or had chronic pain in their foot.  Or something like that.  But I've never experienced anything like this before.  And all I can say is that this is one of the most humbling experiences for me.  And I also have a totally new appreciation for people suffering from back pain.  

I literally just stood up from a chair.  I did stand up a little awkward.  I was holding my abnormally large 4 month old and straddling a glider foot rest in our church's nursing room when I felt it.  Like someone took a knife to my lower back.  Seriously praise the Lord I had my phone in my hand because I couldn't move from that chair and I don't know how I would have moved while holding Cole.  I think part of me just hoped that after laying in that glider awkwardly for a couple minutes I would feel better, but I knew that the unstoppable tears flowing down my face after grabbing Dan's hand in an attempt to stand meant this pain wasn't going to go away quickly.  And it hasn't.  Here we are, Thursday.  Day 4 of laying in my bed.  I'm so thankful for an awesome husband who has been doing way more than he bargained for this week, and my super helpful mom and dad who let my mom come to stay with us for the week because I just don't know how else we would be surviving over here. 

However, all this laying in bed has given me time to catch up on emails, photography, adoption, and many other things that I don't have time to do with a toddler and baby during the day!  Somewhere around Tuesday I decided that if I was going to be bed ridden for a couple days I might as well make the best of it.  So, here we are. 

And somewhere around this time of the year God always slows me down.  Somewhere around Good Friday He stops me in my tracks and He has me remember.  (even though I wish it didn't happen like this ;) ) And His reminder is always much needed for me.  That before Sunday can come, there is Good Friday.  A day that was destined for Jesus long before He was even born.  A day where He takes our sins- my sins- to the cross and is crushed and pierced so that I can be healed and so that I can have peace. 

Just this week I have been following a devotional through SheReadsTruth and they posted one on Wednesday  about what happened in real time the Wednesday before Jesus died that really spoke to me. And it's the story about Mary pouring out expensive perfume when she sees Jesus.  I've totally heard this story a thousand times but it never clicked to me that this happened just days before the crucifixion.  What a beautiful thing for someone to do for Jesus just days before his death.  And while she got a lot of flack for "wasting" the expensive perfume, Jesus justified her action, saying it was beautiful.  

Mary challenges me in so many ways, because I am definitely hard wired more like her sister, Martha.  I am the person who wants to always "do" and be and I like to think pragmatically.  I am the person who would be questioning why Mary is pouring out such expensive perfume when there are tons of poor people who could be fed with that perfume if it was sold.  And Jesus' response is striking to me.  Just like the response he gives the older brother in the parable of the prodigal son- the radical grace that God gives us when we return even when we don't deserve it.  To me it doesn't make sense.  And Mary's actions here to me practically don't make sense.  Yet Jesus is telling the people at the dinner not to think practically, but to realize what is at stake - Jesus is going to die.  And Mary gets that.  She understands what is at stake and her actions show how deeply she understands the sacrifice that Jesus is going to make and Jesus says that her understanding and actions because of that are beautiful and that she will be remembered for generations because of it.

How I want people to remember me for my beauty.  Not the outward beauty because that fades and is so so fleeting.  But for the beautiful acts that I do for people and for Jesus.  Because that is what impacts generations to come.  And beauty is something that we crave in this world and it's something that Jesus created and declared good - just look around in His creation and we can see it everywhere.  And He shares it with us to enjoy- in every new bud that comes up this spring and every sunrise and sunset.  What a gift that we have.  I pray that God would make me more like Mary.  Who can see what is truly important and create beauty where it is needed. 

Women of Faith

I don't really know how I had never hear of "Women of Faith" before because after this conference I realized how incredibly big this thing is!  They travel around the United States and there are thousands of women attend each even.  A friend from church invited me a while back, and I was so thankful she did!  Not only was it some time away with my friends, we celebrated my birthday and went out to eat and heard some great speakers and singers :)

The one we went to was in Hartford, Connecticut which was fun because I had never been there before.  And I swear some of the speakers had to of had some kind of previous job in stand up because these ladies were seriously so funny.  We were dying laughing for half of the conference- I guess that isn't hard to do with 5,000 ladies in one room.  I'll chat more about the conference later because there was one speaker who was seriously so so good, but for now here are a couple pictures I took. 

OH, and I totally forgot to mention we got to hear Natalie Grant AND Matthew West in concert.  They were so so good.  I almost died my hair blonde and cut blunt bangs again after Friday night because Natalie Grant is so stinkin cute.  But, I've learned my lesson that getting the same haircut as someone doesn't mean you'll look like them or in Natalie's case, have a voice like them, so I refrained :)

Getting into the Word

I am not normally the one who likes to do devotions from my phone.  To be honest with you I have always been quite happy with the traditional Bible, journal, pen, and the occasional highlighter routine that I had going on since college.  But one day I stumbled upon this app on instagram; it's called she reads truth.  You guys.  If you are a woman, or especially a new mom who is nursing a new baby or holding a sleeping baby or really, if you find yourself wasting time on your phone, I would highly recommend checking this app out.  Some of the studies are free and some of them cost under $2, but to me, it's so worth it. 

The studies have a couple verses and then a short devotion afterwards.  The other day the Gospel study (a free one :) had me reading the following verse: 

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place." 2 Corinthians 2:14 (NASB)

This particular day it really hit me, that God uses me everywhere I go.  And I don't go alone, He leads me me and manifests His awesome presence through me every. single. day.  That's was a lot for me to take in on this particular morning (and really even today as I'm typing).  The devotion added to the reading of that verse: 

"An aroma is not an argument.  An aroma is not a perfectly rehearsed sales pitch.  An aroma is something experienced.  It transforms the air simply because of what it is. 

We are those commissioned by God to transform the very air in which we live, not because of who we are, but because of who He is."

If that doesn't get you excited about the fact that God uses us then I don't know what will.  God uses us to transform the very air in which we live.  We have been given mercy, grace, wholeness, justice, redemption, and hope. We don't need to force the message of the gospel down the throats of people we meet, we simply hold out Christ and what He has already given us.  Every day I pray that Jake experiences God's love, patience, and grace through me, and I'm so thankful that God assures me in His Word that He is already doing that- that he is already manifesting His aroma through my (what feels like at times) small, insignificant little life.  Suddenly life doesn't feel so insignificant when I am reminded of this. 

I hope that encourages you today no matter where you are :)

And as always, here are some pictures of Jake :)

{so serious, right? lol}

{So thankful for my sweet family}

Fashion, decorating, and God

I'm resisting every urge in me this week to complain about the weather.  As most of you Northerners know, this is when it really gets tough.  This is when Dan and I contemplate spending the rest of our life savings on an extravagant trip to Mexico for a month, just to see some sunshine and feel the warmth of it on our faces.  And obviously this winter has been pretty brutal.  At this point 35 and sunny would be a-mazing. 

So no, we're not planning any extravagant trips to warm weather, but we have booked some flights to see friends and family in the next couple months which is really exciting :)  And my mom is coming into town this week which means I can go to Target and Home Goods and actually look at fragile items without worrying if Jake is going to pick it up or knock it over (the frame aisle in Target is dangerous territory for us) - it is SO helpful when she is here!  I'm excited to post pictures of the new additions to the play room I hope to make this week.  Here are some decorating ideas I like and some other fun things I found while browsing my blogs these past couple weeks :)

Chalkboard paint.  To do just part of the wall, or go all out and do the whole thing?

I'm also trying to figure out what kind of photo collage I would like to put up on the one wall.. I like her idea of pictures, artwork, and the song :)

In the spirit of decorating kids spaces, my friend, Becca, sent me this blog post a while ago and it is HILARIOUS.

It's no surprise to anyone who knows me that I love anything with stripes.  So I'm expanding my wardrobe and going to try something called StitchFix!  I'm nervous and super excited all at the same time.  I can't wait to show you what I get :)

I also bought all the ingredients for this and I'm going to make it when my mom is here.  Get excited.

Because I love my God.  A really great post that I read a while ago but encouraged me recently and reminded me to be checking my heart motivation throughout the day. 

And just for kicks, here are some random pictures I took with my phone/ found on my computer these past couple weeks :)

My dad sent me this picture and the one below of Jake from the fall months ago and it's been sitting in my email.  I can't believe how BLONDE his hair was! Our little man is growing up :)

Future Kraft employee ha ;)

wearing our shades :)

Jake was not happy I was infringing on his car seat space to get this selfie.

Play date with a friend from a while ago :)

I had some quality time with this cutie before Jake woke up from his nap :)

These are moments few and far between when I get to rock him to sleep. So naturally I took a picture of it ;)

I took this on a rare 40 degree day a couple weeks ago.  I was ready to jump in a pool even though there was snow on the ground

Jake can correctly identify all 26 letters of the alphabet!  This is his "I did it!" photo.  #proudmom