An Already Filled Cup

I have been reading through "Praying God's Word" by Beth Moore recently and am loving it.  It is filled with prayers inspired by scripture- something I have been wanting to do for a long time.  I've heard from many moms that the transition to motherhood can pretty dramatically affect your faith and the amount of time you spend with God.  If anything these past two weeks I have learned I need to rely on God more than I ever have before and am praying that He stays a main priority during this next stage of my life.

So, here's some Beth Moore inspiration for your Monday :)

"Whether we seek to have our cup filled through approval, affirmation, control, success, or immediate gratification, we are miserable until something is in it...

No one is more pleasurable to be around than a person who has had her cup filled by the Lord Jesus Christ.  He is the only One who is never overwhelmed by the depth and length of our need.  Imagine how different our days would be if we had our cups filled by Christ first thing in the morning.  During the course of the day, anything else anyone is able to offer could just be the overflow of an already full cup.  This person will never lack company or affection because she draws daily from the well of unfailing love."

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Week One with Jake

Oh boy where to begin.  I can't believe that today is Jake's two week birthday!  A couple days ago his umbilical cord fell off and I looked at Dan and said "Oh my goodness his umbilical cord is gone!  He's growing up so fast!" lol But really, I'm glad I'm sitting down to write this post now because it's hard to even remember everything about the first week that we became a family of three because it was such a whirlwind of events!
The first couple days in the hospital were spent with lots of family and friends visiting (which was so sweet- they were all so excited to meet him!) and for me, it was a lot of recovery.  Nurses constantly checking on me, giving me medicine, handing me forms to fill out, and coming in occasionally to get Jake and give him shots. 

Oh, the shots.  The first night Jake spent in the nursery since by the time our family saw him and he got a bath it was close to 2am anyway.  The next night was a little rough :/  I don't blame him for being cranky, if  I had shots and was circumcised I would be cranky, too.  That's a lot for a one day old to go through.  I couldn't bring myself to send him to the nursery because he was fussy and crying from everything he went through and I felt it was my job as his mom to comfort him even though I was feeling pretty crummy.  After walking around with him for a couple hours I woke Dan up and asked him to hang out with him while I got some sleep.  Finally, around 6am I woke up and Dan had just put him in his little bed because he was beginning to calm down when a nurse comes in and says she has to draw his blood.  Dan and I looked at each other in disbelief.  This was not happening.  Obviously, I knew it had to get done, but unfortunately, it was a much harder process than we thought.  They had to prick his foot and put blood in this little tube- easy right?  Well, unfortunately Jake was not bleeding well so they had to prick him 3 times and the process took close to a half an hour.  After not even 5 minutes of him screaming and me trying to comfort him, I completely lost it.  When I say lost it, I mean I had to walk away because I was bawling so hard... almost just as hard, if not harder, than Jake.  Dan did his best not to laugh at me even though he cracked a smile as he walked over to hug me lol  When he tried to comfort me I told him to leave me alone and to go comfort his son since I was in no shape to do so.  The nurse proceeded to ask if I was ok and then started to lecture me on how I needed to be one of those mothers who could let their baby cry.  I was too busy bawling to be upset with her lecturing and was trying my best not to hurt her because of all the pain she was causing my son.  (I know I know, she didn't mean to hurt him.. I was just an emotional mess)  I just told her the mix of hormones, no sleep, and the inability to comfort our child was catching up to me and assured her that in the future I would be able to let him cry.

After she left, we officially made it through night two.

 

Coming home was actually nice.  Although I didn't have the nurses taking care of me anymore, my mom and the rest of our family could take care of Jake while I was taking baths and sending Dan out to get every medication on the face of this earth.  Here were some of our phone conversations:

Stef: "I forgot that I need you to get me some pads."
Dan: "Ok... what kind do you need?"
Stef: "I don't care.  The biggest kind you can find."
Dan: "Ummm... all right.. I'll do my best."

5 minutes later...

Stef: "Dan, I also am going to need a donut."
Dan: "Donuts?  What kind of donuts?"
Stef: "No no, the kind of donut you sit on."
Dan: "Oh, ok.... (Dan talking to Jeff his brother) Hey Jeff, we can't leave yet I have to get Stef a donut."
Jeff: "Donuts?  Why does she want donuts?"

Oh, geez.

Amidst all the phone calls, they did manage to get everything I needed- I have such a sweet husband and brother in law :)



The first couple days we spent giving him baths, putting cute outfits on him, and changing tons of diapers.  Jake is a true guy- peeing all over us mid diaper change (why did I spend money to get a cute changing pad?) and he has this great ability to poop in his new diaper before we can even take him off the changing table. At least he's already in place to get changed again.

Then came his doctor's appointment.  When Jake came home his discharge weight was 7 pounds 7 ounces, however at the doctor's office he weighed 7 pounds 2 ounces.  They weren't freaking out, but they did want him to come in before the next week to check his weight.  Needless to say, I was concerned.  My poor baby was not getting the nutrients he needed!  After that I had Jake on a strict schedule of nursing every 2 hours.  This little guy was going to get milk whether he wanted to or not!  Thankfully within 5 days he gained 8 ounces- more than the doctors expected!  I was so thankful when we went back in that he was back up to 7 pounds 10 ounces!

So back to our first doctor's appointment.  After the appointment we needed to make a quick stop at Babies R Us but decided to first grab lunch at Chick Fil A.  I know the doctors say not to take babies out in public for the first couple weeks, but I figured we could make it a quick trip.  Well, that unfortunately was not the case.  The second we walked in the doors, this sweet worker (lady on the far left in the picture below) ran over to us asking how old he was.  I quietly said 4 days, ashamed that the mom in the booth next to us with a 6 month old would be shunning me for exposing our child to germs so early on.  She proceeded to exclaim to the rest of her co workers over the counter that we had a 3 day old baby with us. (even though Dan and I tried to correct her by saying 4... thinking that made such a big difference) Next thing we knew, the Chick Fil A workers came out and asked if they could take pictures.  So much for flying under the radar.  They were very nice though and gave us free dessert.  Jake is still alive and well so I'm assuming he didn't get some sort of crazy virus from the attention at Chick Fil A, but it definitely made for an eventful lunch!

As far as some other details go, he actually has a pretty good routine going of feeding, being awake, and then sleeping (I'm *attempting* the Babywise schedule and he's actually been doing pretty well... we'll see how that continues to go lol). At night he normally will sleep for 3 to 4 hours at a time which is great because I can get almost 2 hours of non stop sleep.  We really spend a majority of our time when he is awake cracking up at all of his faces.  He has a pretty rockin blue steel look that he gives us occasionally, as well as this "old man" look when he crinkles his forehead.  And on the rare occasion he'll crack a half smile/ smirk that just melts our heart :)

We really are loving every second of being with him.  Dan is so cute and always asks if he can wake him up from his nap to play with him- there is nothing more sweet than seeing your husband hang out with his son.  It's still crazy to me that we are parents.  We have been planning for this little one's arrival for 9 months and it's still surreal that he's actually sleeping in the other room right now.  I seriously could stare at him for hours while he sleeps, he is so precious and we feel so blessed and thankful.  I know people say it all the time, but it's amazing how much you can love someone so much after knowing them for such a small amount of time.  Heck, two days in I was about ready to take out that nurse who was drawing his blood- those motherly protective instincts already kicked in!  It's definitely been a whirlwind of emotions but we're really enjoying adjusting to life with the three of us.  I can't wait to share more pictures and fun stories about little Jake as he grows up :)

Jake's grand entrance into the world :)

39 weeks and 5 days!

This is me *slowly* getting back into the blogging world.  I feel like we are finally getting into somewhat of a routine (as much as a routine that an 11 day old will get in :) so hopefully I can start to give a couple updates here and there.  Where before I was a full time Event Coordinator at Trinity and a part time student, now I am a part time Event Coordinator at Trinity and a full time mom.  So, as you can tell there are some adjustments that we are making :)

Jake decided to make his arrival early- he definitely surprised us!  Dan had the Friday off before Memorial Day and it was really fun because we spent the day hanging out together at the pool and then had what we thought (and was) would be our last date night to Outback before little Jake arrived!  Toward the end of dinner I told Dan I was feeling a lot more contractions but they didn't hurt.  When I got home we started to time them and they were about 4 minutes apart.  I was supposed to go to a friend's bridal shower, and was so torn because again, the contractions weren't painful, but they were very consistent and we were told when they were between 5 to 7 minutes apart you should go to the hospital!

I decided to stay home and keep timing them and when they didn't die down I called the doctor.  Although I was almost 3 centimeters dilated, the doctor said I should wait it out a little longer so Dan and I started walking. The contractions got stronger as we were walking, but again, not really painful.  When I think of contractions I think of keeling over, can't breath kind of pain and that is not what I was feeling at all.  We went home and went to bed, and when I got up in the morning they were still coming very consistently, and so we continued to walk. Around 11am I decided to call again.  I was definitely that mom who kept calling the doctor :)  I figured I'd rather call than drive to the hospital and get sent home!  However, that is exactly what the doctor told me to do!  She said worst case I would be sent home if I wasn't in labor.  So, we packed up and reluctantly headed to the hospital.  It's funny because I always pictured us going to the hospital really quickly - with me in the back seat breathing heavily and yelling at Dan to drive faster (or at least that's what happens in a Baby Story on TLC :).  We actually talked about how we didn't think this was it on the drive over and didn't even bring in all our bags because we thought we would be going home.

Well, I got in there and they checked me out, and since I was almost 4 centimeters and I was having consistent contractions they admitted me!  That's when Dan and I got really excited!  We started texting/ calling our friends and family and gearing up for a long day- the nurse said to expect to be in labor for about 10 to 12 hours.  We were expecting our baby to be born early in the morning on May 27th. 

Skip forward to 7:00 at night.  Dan and I had been watching Forest Gump in the hospital when they came and checked me and I was 7 centimeters.  I was actually pretty surprised- and even more surprised when at 9:00 they said I was fully dilated.  The stirrups came up and the brightest lights in the world came on and they said to get ready to start pushing.  I looked at Dan, grabbed his hand, and we started!  I was expecting to push for at least 1 to 2 hours (they say with an epidural it can take even up to 3 hours!), so I was shocked when after 6 pushes, 15 minutes later, the nurse told me to stop pushing because the baby would come out and the doctor wasn't in the room.  I couldn't believe we were going to meet our baby within 20 minutes of pushing!  The doctor came in and on the next push Jake made his appearance, and it was quite an appearance because the doctor literally had to catch him because he came out so fast!  He was just so excited to meet us :) He was born on May 26th at 9:20pm weighing 7 pounds 14 ounces and was 20 inches long.

It was so surreal.  Dan and I keep talking about how crazy it is to love someone so much and you literally just met them for a couple hours.  We keep talking about how we cannot believe we are a family of 3 and not a family of 2 anymore!  It's an adjustment, but we're enjoying every minute with him :)  He is such an incredible blessing and we already can't get over his hilarious facial expressions he makes at us!

I'll write more about our first week home with our little guy, but for now I've gotta head out because he's going to wake up from his nap any second :)

Yay we're staying!

Right after he is born :)

Meeting him for the first time

Family of 3

Excited dad :)

Some shots at home

Bath time!

Jacob Lawrence Cinadr :)

On Saturday, May 26, at 9:20 pm we welcomed our little baby, Jacob Lawrence Cinadr into the world :)  He weighed 7 lbs 14 ounces and was 20 inches long.  We already love him to pieces and are quickly adjusting to life as parents!   I will give a more extended update later since things are a little hectic right now as expected :) Here are some of my favorite pics so far- we have almost 350 to sort through!

Jacob only about 5 minutes old!

My husband has been amazing.  It has been so cute to watch him as a dad :)

Unsolicited Advice.



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I can't tell you how thankful I was to read this blog post around Mother's Day.  I think because it's become pretty obvious that I'm pregnant at this point (4 days from my due date), I have gotten lots of unsolicited advice from strangers.  Last week on our way to the Cubs game in Chicago, my co workers and I were crammed on the red line and they got to experience first hand what I experience on what feels like a daily basis.  It was one of those moments where you wish you could desperately get away, however, if anyone has been on the CTA on their way to a Cubs game, you know there is no escaping.  So, for what seemed like an hour, (which was probably 10 minutes) I listened to a guy tell me about each of his children's birth, when his wife went to the hospital and therefore when I should go to the hospital, and lots of other intimate details that I definitely was not expecting.  I was VERY thankful when someone offered me their seat so I could politely back down from the conversation.  This is a pretty common occurrence for me- from standing in line at Noodles & Company, to shopping in the grocery store, to walking back to my car in a parking lot- I've been told lots of "interesting" bits of information regarding what my life is going to look like with a baby.

What is the common denominator in all of those conversations?  Unfortunately, most people pretty much tell you the worst.  They don't mean to, but I think that they assume I must be extremely naive and have no idea what I am getting myself into because everyone feels the need to inform me that I'm not going to sleep for the next 5 years... that Dan and I will never get alone time for the rest of our lives... that I am making a huge sacrifice and it is going to feel like that... a sacrifice... and that I can bank on not getting alone time until they leave for college.  While I "know" what they say carry truth with them, I won't fully know until I am holding my baby in my arms and am experiencing it for myself.

That's why I loved Laura's blog post.  Because while she talked about the lack of sleep and the changes their baby brought to their marriage, she talked about what you rarely hear- how amazing it is to hold your baby in your arms, to watch your husband take care of your son or daughter, and the joys that come with being a mother.  I am sure those feelings are much harder to describe to someone who's expecting, so what comes out is "good luck sleeping for the next couple weeks!" however if I've learned anything from my experience, I really hope that if I feel the need to talk to someone about their pregnancy, that I share with them the positive, not the negative.  I've seen the difficult parenting moments and trust me, I already am scared that I will be that mom who has a screaming child at church all the while feeling the stares from people watching, waiting to see how I am going to handle the situation.

This could just be me.  There may be moms to be who needed to be brought back to reality about the realities of having a baby.  However I have found that more often than not, that is what people are already sharing.  So, I hope to be different.  I hope to remind them that although it's probably a little scary and nerve wracking knowing that your life is going to change drastically in the next couple weeks, the blessings you experience are even more.  I know.. this is coming from someone who hasn't even had her baby yet.  But, it's mom's like Laura who give me hope that there are blessings that come with parenthood- so I'm going to put my hope in that right now :)

Nursery Update

These past couple weeks we have been putting a lot of finishing touches on the "nursery" in our bedroom.  I personally am very thankful that we are pretty much done- I can't imagine still trying to put the last finishing touches to it this week!  Other than getting a diaper pale, that is the only *needed* item before the baby arrives. (which technically could be any day.. but we don't have high hopes for his/ her arrival anytime soon!)

I did have my doctors appointment on Friday and I am one centimeter dialated- woo hoo! lol  I know in the labor and delivery realm that is pretty much nothing, but it's a start, right?!  Oh, and in other fun news we have had probably close to 5 people in the past week ask if we're having a boy.. maybe that's a sign?!  And, a kid in the McDonald's parking lot asked what we were naming our baby and I told him (well lied technically..) that we didn't know yet (I didn't really think he was that interested lol) and he said that we should name him Jake if it's a boy- which is CRAZY because that is the boy's name we have picked out!  Coincidence? Not sure.. we'll find out soon though!

Oh Ikea directions.. not the easiest to understand.  Thankful for Dan who spent a long time putting our baby's dresser together!

Making room for the baby!



We used the corner by our bed to stash some extra stuff :)

Weekend Updates

This past weekend was SO nice.  Not only is it starting to feel like summer around here, Dan and I were able to spend a lot of time together - which I always like :)  My weekend technically started on Friday when we went to downtown Chicago for my last day of work to prepare for a conference that is being held at Moody.  Then, we headed to a Cubs game - I am pretty sure Trinity has treated me to almost all of the Cubs games I have attended here in Chicago! 

Next, Dan and I were able to spend Saturday hanging out at Starbucks (yes their Mocha Coconut drink is BACK, and it was amazing), and we met up with some of Dan's Beta brothers who live in the area to go see the movie "What to Expect when You're Expecting."  Although Rotten Tomatoes gave it a low rating, if you are pregnant, or have a close friend who is pregnant, you could probably relate to a lot of the humor in this movie.  Needless to say, we enjoyed watching it :)

Then, on Sunday some of our co workers/ lovely friends treated us to brunch in downtown A Heights, we went and saw my friend, Lindsay McCaul (who has been on tour with Casting Crowns, Stephen Curtis Chapman, and will be on tour with Matthew West!) sing at the Metropolis in Arlington Heights, and the night ended with me getting in my last few chances to use pregnancy cravings as an excuse to get milkshakes: a peanut butter cup shake from Steak and Shake.  Not a bad ending to a great weekend!

The couples who went to see the movie

Enjoying some down time in Chicago before the Cubs game!

Rish was cut out so we needed to take another one :)

Meeting up with Lindsay after her concert!

38 weeks

So I had to take a couple pictures of my 38 week belly bump during graduation :)  Normally I post every two weeks, but since I was all "dolled up" for my big day, we decided to take some photos.  Surprisingly you couldn't really tell I was pregnant with my robe on!  Dan was slightly disappointed you couldn't see my bump, but I was kind of happy that I didn't look huge walking across the stage!

In other fun news, the foot swelling has begun.  Dan is even surprised by how big they look.  I personally think it makes me more attractive ;) just kidding.  But really, other than the swelling and my rising body temperature, I'm feeling really good! Since graduation is officially done, we have officially given this baby permission to come out whenever he/ she is ready!  Except for today... when I will be in downtown Chicago with my co workers... right in the middle of the NATO Summit preparations...with only access to our hospital via train.  Other than that, we're ready :)

you can definitely see my stomach here!

Graduation

So this weekend I officially graduated from Seminary at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School.  I have SO many thoughts regarding it, but right now my main feeling is relief.  I cannot believe that after 3.5 years I am finally DONE.  I am so thankful and grateful.  Cannot believe it is over- I have no idea what I am going to do with my time now!

Here are some pictures from the day :)

Walking out!

Getting hooded

yay!

Dan is going to be next!!

No, I did not go into labor during the ceremony.  Even though it was extremely hot the guy next to me thought I might lol

My wonderful parents came into town to celebrate!

Then we went out to eat afterward :)

Our Mother's Day Weekend

This was a very busy weekend for us!  Both sides of our family were in town so we spent most of our time with them.  It was great to see them :)

Dan's brother, Jeff, stopped by so we drove him to see the Home Alone House and we stopped by the beach up in the North Shore- it was the same one we went to when we showed it to Dan's parents.  You can tell from our other post it was much colder the last time we were there!



Comparing belly sizes.. I'm pretty sure I've got him beat :)

At graduation!  We have more pictures to come.

Celebratory dinner at Salsa 17- Guac and a virgin coconut fruity drink. SO good!

An early Mother's Day gift from Dan's family- a balloon and Dan's freshman year college Beta pic :)  Dan's parents know I LOVE this picture of Dan, so they brought it from Texas for me!  Dan thinks I am crazy for putting up this picture on display of him in our aprtment however lol

Dan and his bro

So these are LONG overdue, but these pictures we took when we were in Texas a couple weeks ago and I completely forgot to upload them, so I thought I'd share them now :)

comparing stomachs again... I'm still winning :)

Jake and his dog :)

So yesterday this Lamborghini zoomed around us going close to 100 in the turning lane to our apartment.  When Jeff realized that this was a pretty nice car and it was revving its engine, he decided to video tape it zooming away.  We could not believe what we saw when it turned the corner and crashed!  Thankfully, no one was hurt, but we were in complete disbelief by what we just witnessed!  It made for quite the eventful day!