Change

So it's no secret to anyone who knows me that I absolutely love fall.  I feel like I love the anticipation of fall almost more than fall itself, because one second the leaves are here and the next minute it seems like all I see are bare branches and before I know it I missed everything.  Thank goodness I am totally that person that stocks up on all the fall Bath and Body Works products to enjoy everything that comes with the fall season well after the leaves are gone.  We may or may not have been using pumpkin cinnamon soap into March this past year.

I think why I love fall so much is because I love change.  I know some people run from it, but I run into it.  (that may be why my hair style is constantly changing.. and why I have had bangs on and off for the past three years.  Proof here in 2011 and here 2012.)  However that type of change is quick.  It's immediate.  Just like fall.. I feel like one day it's 80 degrees and I'm sweating and complaining about how hot I am and the next it's 50 and overcast and people are talking about snow and singing Christmas carols.

However, real change to my heart and character is soooo    s  l  o  w.  It takes time.  It's not immediate.  And that is so stinkin hard for me.  On multiple occasions this past week the Lord brought to my attention how my words have gotten the best of me. (what's even more ironic is that in my current memorization of James I am memorizing this: " no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.  From the same mouth come blessing and cursing.  My brothers, these things ought not to be so."

That might be why I am realizing the need to change so much- God is showing me how my tongue is a restless evil.

The other week when I was home in Chicago I was listening to K love (oh how I deeply miss you, K love!) and in between one of the songs the radio host said that she was being challenged to just pray this one simple prayer every single day for a year:  Lord, change me.

And for some reason that really hit me. 

When Jake is testing my patience: Lord, change me.

When I begin to fear or worry about our future: Lord, change me.

When I find myself being sarcastic or gossiping: Lord, change me.

So, simple, yet such wise words.  Because ultimately isn't God putting us in situations so we can be more godly and develop our character? (Romans 5:3)  I SO desire to be a more loving, wise, and godly wife, mom, and friend.  While I wish that this could happen overnight I know it won't.  That's why I love that this radio host was praying it for a solid year.  And a lot of times change can even take longer than that, but how I would desire to look back in a year and be able to actually see areas of my character changed.  And how much more this would be lasting change. 

So in the rest of my journal I wrote at the top of each page "Lord, change me."  So even before I start my quiet time in the morning, I can remember to pray this prayer :)

And since we're talking about change, here are some pictures I took recently of Jake in this changing season of ours :)

This was Jake waving "bye" to the lake lol