Updates and People Pleasing

It seems so long ago that we were sleeping in until 10, spending time with the Lord in front of a beautiful view, and then making our one big decision of the day: pool or beach (life was pretty tough :).  Fast forward to this week: waking up at 6, working, studying, reading, packing, cleaning, shopping, annnnd bed.  Things have definitely changed in 7 days!  But, I have to say that I am so thankful for our week of rest in preparation for this crazy week!

Now, I know it has been about 4 months since I read this book over Christmas break and I've talked about it already on this blog, but this past week I was looking through my journal and read the notes I took while reading it and really wanted to share with you some thoughts.  People pleasing is something I have struggled with since Jr. High when the never ending questions plagued my mind:  Do they like me?  Is she mad at me?  Did I hurt her feelings?  Did they like my outfit?  These are not only questions that I struggled with in middle school, but they are STILL questions that go through my mind.  As hard as it is for me to admit that. 

Ed Welch is kind of a big name in counseling right now- and it's for a good reason.  He has such wise counsel and it is very biblical.  Here are some great things I learned from his book "When People are Big and God is Small":

• We need to think less often about ourselves.
• When people want or need love from other people they are controlled by them.
• We need to love others more and need them less
• Know God's love so you can give it
• Do I care more about how I look in front of other people than I do about sinning or how I look before God?  (suuuper convicting question for me)
• John 12- "For they loved the praise from men more than the praise of God"
• How is the fear of man expressed in my life?  (I had a VERY long list for this!)
• Our culture tells us that we are generally good people who need to love ourselves more- in reality this ignores the depth of our sin problem
• People are most similar to God when He is the object of their affection.
• SO: How do we get rid of our tendency to please people and want their acceptance?
• Study more about who God is- His character, His wrath, His holiness.  This was a big deal for me- if I am fearing man more than God, it means that I have a distorted view of who God really is.
• When our hearts are filled with the greatness of God, there is less room for the question "What are people going to think of me?"
• We need to have a biblical view of God, others, and ourselves. 
• We need to be less concerned about ourselves and more concerned about the plans of God

This book made me much more aware of my struggles with people pleasing.  For me, it looks like this: struggling to speak truth into other people's lives for fear that they will think poorly of me, wondering if other people are talking about me behind my back, always saying "yes" to opportunities that come my way, and being self conscious about how I look (what I wear, say, the decisions I make, etc). 

Really, a lot of it is pride.  What will they think of me if I say this?  Did they agree with my decision?  Are they upset with me?  Is there a reason why they didn't invite me?  Was I too straight forward in what I said?  It may appear on the outside that I'm just a nice person that wants to make others happy but it's really all about myself.  Ugh.  People pleasing is really ugly isn't it?  And it takes on SO many forms.  If any of this resonates with you- I would highly encourage you to read this book!  And on that wonderful note- have a lovely weekend :)

Thankful and so blessed

I am still in awe as I write this post by how generous a family was to us last week.  You know how the Bible talks a lot about money and wealth?  How it talks about not letting money become your master, or keeping your heart free from the love of money?  Or how about when Jesus challenges us to be generous and not hold onto our possessions so tightly?  Well, through another's generosity last week I was able to see this truth first hand and it definitely has got me thinking about my heart in this area and I was really challenged to examine how I view "things."  It doesn't matter how much money or stuff I have- the Lord challenges all of us to be generous, to open our home to others, to not hold on so tightly to our possessions, and to invest our time and money in things that will last for eternity.  While I may not be able to treat anyone to a vacation to Florida anytime soon, Dan and I can work on being generous.  Even though we are trying to stick to a strict budget to pay off our debt, we still need to listen to God to see where He may be asking us to give up some of our (well.. more like my) "spending money" for the month or be more generous in our giving.  After seeing radical generosity like I did last week, it definitely made me think about what the Lord may be calling us to. 

Before my ranting goes on and on, I wanted to tell you a little bit about our vacation.  Short story: it was so great.  Relaxing, fun, and great to meet some new couples and make new friends.  I ran with Brittany (she definitely pushed me- I'm totally ready for a race now!), played tennis, went out to eat, watched movies, watched basketball, had quiet times on the balcony with a great view, were entertained by the guys and their "competitions," took SO many pictures, got to know some pretty interesting people who build sandcastles for a living, and had great conversations about faith and life.  It doesn't get much better than that.  Here are some pics:

The whole group!

There were such great sunsets!

I was forced to knight Dan.... that was weird lol

compliments of Luke

Best view ever!

Our first project!!

Who starts a project and doesn't take a before picture?! Well, me apparently. Half way through refinishing our buffet table and china cabinet I realized that I didn't take a picture! I was just so excited when we got home to get started I totally forgot. So, I started rummaging through my pictures to see if there was at least a glimpse of it in the background of a picture!! Annnnd I found some.  The first one is pretty bad.  If you look carefully  you can see the china cabinet in the background with the glass doors and our dishes in it.

haha can you see it?!

Then, I took the picture below at Christmas. Unfortunately you can't see the knobs that are on the doors (there wasn't any hardware on the drawers) but you can get a feel for what it looked like!

Before...

Then we got to work! Becca came over and helped us out which was SO nice of her! How excited (especially Dan) do they look!?

These were the original knobs..

I love that you can see me in it! lol

Annnnnd After!!!  We took the glass out, put new hardware on it, stained it darker, then I went to work doing a little distressing!  We have so many books this is going to be very useful :)

 What's crazy about this is that we actually started out hoping it would be closer to black than brown.  When we started to realize that it wasn't going to be the color we hoped, I took back the silver knobs and got "aged bronze" and did a little distressing and really like it- I think even better than if it was black and more "modern" looking.

The sun was really bright today!

I kind of enjoyed distressing- I didn't bang anything against it like some people have, but I used sand paper and steel wool and it gave it the look we wanted!

So there you have it- our first furniture make over!  It definitely was hard work, and there are still some table and chairs in the set, but we decided to hold off on that- and I'm SO glad we did.  There would have been no way we would have finished all the pieces in a weekend.

Well, our flight for Florida is TONIGHT!! So that means I need to finish packing :)  Have a wonderful weekend and we'll be back in a couple weeks!

Hungry for God

Last night at Bible study Lina discussed "Hunger for God" and quoted C.S. Lewis from his Sermon "The Weight of Glory."  You may have heard it before, but it definitely made me think about the joy that is offered to us- and how much I still seek other things to fulfill me.

"Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

Also, my boss and I have discussed the Rob Bell controversy and he found a good review from someone who has already read the book and passed it along to me.  I figured I would share it with you since I have posted some other information about it.  You can find the review here.

Enjoying the Journey

So can I just start off by saying that Dan is so extremely patient with me?  Last week when we were discussing the move, we realized we wouldn't be able to fit the dining room set that my parents gave us (without rearranging them) in our new apt.  So, I had the fabulous idea of staining them and adding new hardware to transform one into a bookshelf and another into a stand for our TV.  Note: I have NEVER painted or done anything like this before in my life. 

After a quick call to my parents, we were on our way to Lowe's to get the supplies needed.  Let's just say this probably would not have been Dan's first choice of how he wanted to spend his weekend (and Monday night and most likely tonight for that matter), but he did it for me.  He is just so sweet :)  BUT, we're not quite done yet- we ran into some issues last night and need to borrow a smaller drill.  Hopefully it will be done soon and I can show you what we did!!  I'm SO excited!

On another note, all this moving stuff has got me thinking about these past (almost) 3 years or our marriage.  It definitely hasn't been what we thought it would be.  Chicago for us was a short stop on the way to the rest of our life.  I'm pretty sure I always viewed it that way until this past summer, when after having to purchase 2 cars, our goal of heading into ministry was pushed back a couple years.  I realized I've been so focused on the destination that I haven't been very good at "celebrating the journey."  Here are some "destinations" that I have found myself focused on:

• When we are in full time ministry then God will really start to use us.
• When I graduate from TEDS then I'll be prepared to disciple, lead, and encourage other women.
• When we own a home then I can be more hospitable because we will have more space. And to be perfectly honest- I do think that having a home will magically make me a happier person :)
• When we are finished paying off our college loans then we will really experience freedom in our finances.
• When we have kids then I will really feel a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

In reality, my "when's" may never happen and if I'm so focused on my destination, I'll never learn from my experiences getting there.  I'll always be wanting more.  I'll never be satisfied.  I'll waste my whole life dreaming of the day when things will be different and never learn to be content in where God has me.

So, right now I am slowly learning to see the steps getting to ministry and the steps to paying off our debt as just as important as having the debt paid off or being in ministry.

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Goodbye Arlington Heights

Soooo we're moving.  No, we don't own a home and we're only moving 15 minutes down the road, but there are lots of sentimental moments attached to our apartment- this was our FIRST apartment!!  The first place that Dan and I together could call our home.  We have lived there for almost 3 years!! When we talk about our first place to our kids, family, and friends some day this is the place we're going to think about.  So, as I am getting emotional about moving, here is a list of things I am going to miss about our apartment:

• Marge- she always greets me every time I come home from work updating me about the status of the weather.  And she calls Jewel "U-el" with her German accent.
• Puma- the dog that lives down the hall from us that will run into our apartment if we keep the door open.
• The lady that lives in the apartment complex right across from us- as creepy as it may be, we can totally see into her apartment (especially at night) and I get nervous when I haven't seen her in a while.  And I'll miss the fact that her couches are angled in such a way that it looks like she is ALWAYS staring directly into our apartment.  Dan and I are used to it, but our guests always think its weird lol
• My running route :( 
• The fact that I can walk to Ann Taylor Loft.  *sigh* maybe we'll save some money in the process
• Our Panera.  We have spent SO many hours studying there and the one guy gives us free drinks. That will be sad.
• Alt Thai.  Ok, so I know I can still drive to Alt Thai, but getting take out on my way home was just so wonderful.
• Walking to Red Box across the street.
• Downtown Arlington Heights in the summer- it's just so cute :)

Ok, so now that I've got that out of my system- here are things I will not miss, and things that I am totally looking forward to about our NEW place!!

• Not walking to the parking garage to get my car.  We will have a FREE spot in front of our apartment.  So great.
• Updated kitchen!  Yes it may be a little smaller, but I'm looking forward to that :)
• Garbage disposal.  My friend Becca and I (they're moving to the complex too- definite bonus!) were getting probably a little too excited about this luxury- but after spending years picking out nasty, soggy, leftover food out of our sinks, this is going to be a dream.
• Having a dishwasher.  I cannot wait to throw away our drying rack!
• The ability to let people in our apt via our phone so we don't have to walk downstairs to open the door for people!  We're lazy.
• The 15 minute drive to work (as opposed to 30-45 minute drive).  Saving time and gas money.
• A workout facility!!!  No more running in the winter outside!!!!!!!!
• Tennis courts- Dan and I will totally become pro's now.
• A swimming pool.  I can't wait for warm weather!
• No coin laundry!

So, there are definite pro's to making the move, but I will be a little sad in the process.  The craziness of it all is that we are moving out by the end of this month!  I've already started collecting boxes.  Trust me- I'll keep you updated on the process :)
Happpppy Friday!

Links and updates!

Whew.  It has been quite a busy couple days!  I had my theology Midterm yesterday that just about wiped me out.  You know those tests where you are writing furiously and answering questions for the full 2.5 hours that you have allotted to take the exam- worried that you won't finish in time?  Yep. That was me yesterday morning.  But, I'm just SO thankful it is over.  Most of the information was very helpful as I continue to challenge myself by formulating my beliefs as to why the Bible is true, how God inspired the writers, and how God reveals Himself to humans.  All good stuff, but somewhat overwhelming.  So, that is basically what overtook my weekend- throw in a dinner with some friends and a night babysitting (this SWEET 8 month year old named Sam- picture below of me with her :) and that brings us to today! 

Oh, and we have some exciting news coming up!  We're still in the process of getting all the details figured out so as soon as we figure that out- we'll share it!!

Lastly, these past couple weeks I have found some great links and thought I'd share them with you!

I am LOVING the dresses here.  I have already told Dan about my excitement about one of them... I'll let you know if it fits in our budget this month!

I've been listening to this song on YouTube lately.

We have been eating a lot of recipes from this blog!  The Buffalo wraps, BBQ quesadillas are wonderful.  Going to make the BBQ pizza tonight!

I just bought these yesterday!  She created a "notes" one that I would reeeallly like as well.  Such a cute idea.

This hotel is getting me excited to get away!  We leave for Florida in less than 2 weeks!!  SO excited.

This Rob Bell controversy has got me thinking.  I feel like everyone has thoughts on it- as you can tell by the hundreds of comments on his page!! (to see the trailer for his new book go here)  Obviously, working and attending seminary I am used to people discussing their theological beliefs, and while some people feel it is better to stop talking and start doing (which is definitely necessary) it is important that we test what people say about heaven and hell with the Bible.  It's such a difficult topic and our pastor did a great job discussing it in his sermon on "What's down with hell."  (I'm pretty sure the link to the sermon is a series so be sure to listen to the whole thing if you do!) The reality about the situation is that this is a very difficult concept to grasp.  Nobody likes hell.  Nobody wants to think about hell.  And nobody really wants to believe that it exists.  But, Jesus makes it pretty clear in the Bible that it is a reality.  And there's a reason that He died a brutal death on the cross.  Personally, I am glad that people are thinking about what Rob Bell says and I find it rather interesting.  I hope it gets you thinking, too :)