A story about a boy and a girl

Dan and I "celebrated" our 10 year dating anniversary yesterday.  I have always joked around with Dan that he probably never thought from that moment that I asked him to "dtr" in our driveway that night that he would never. ever. be single again.  And I tell him that was my plan all along :)

This 10 year anniversary came at such a sweet time for us.  Our move to New York has probably been the most "trying" on our relationship since we got married.  It's not our first move- obviously we moved out to Chicago after we got married, but we were totally and completely in our honeymoon phase.  I was excited to make dinners, become a homemaker, do laundry, and vacuum.  I'm not saying I don't enjoy cooking and cleaning anymore (well.. sometimes I don't :) ) however the "newness" of marriage and being a wife has faded and Dan is working a job that demands more of his time and energy.  We are in a new place.  We now have a son.  And we have had to have conversations that we haven't had before.  What came naturally to us 3 years ago is something we have to fight for in this stage of our relationship. 

And although we're not "through" this difficult time, I am thankful to say that it has been worth the fight.  I knew coming out here we would need to fight for our marriage.  We have been put into an environment where we have no community, no church, no family.  It can be the breeding ground for resentment, selfishness, and critical hearts in a marriage.  And I can say that I have experienced all of that in the past four months.  However, I am thankful that God has shown me areas that I need to work on in my heart.  More often than not in marriage, I have realized that while I can easily first point fingers at Dan, there are just as many fingers that should be pointed back at me.

So this 10 year anniversary is sweeter because of the experiences that we have had recently.  Looking back on our wedding day, it almost seems impossible to think I could have fallen more in love with Dan, but as super cheesy as that sounds, I have.  What we have now is so much more than the giddy, new love.  And while those were such sweet memories for us, I love where we are now.  Where I am privileged to watch him as a dad, see him working hard to support our family, follow him as he strives to stay passionate in his walk with God.

My sweet discipler, Jenny, for my wedding gave me the prayers from "The Power of a Praying Wife" on note cards and I can honestly say it is one of my all time favorite wedding gifts.  I prayed this prayer this morning and can say it is the true desire of my heart for our marriage.  It's long, but well worth the read :)

Lord help me to be a good wife.  I fully realize that I don’t have what it takes to be one without your help. Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long suffering, and the willingness to bear all things.  Take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions, and self-protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled.  Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with your battering ram of revelation.  Give me a new heart and work in me your love, pace, and joy (Galatians 5:22, 23).  I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment.  Only You can transform me.  Show me where there is sin in my heart, especially with regard to my husband.  I confess the times I’ve been unloving, critical, angry, resentful, disrespectful, or unforgiving toward him.  Help me to put aside any hurt, anger, or disappointment I feel and forgive him the way You do- totally and completely, no looking back.  Make me a tool of reconciliation, peace, and healing in this marriage. 

Enable us to communicate well and rescue us from the threshold of separation where the realities of divorce begin.  Make me my husband’s helpmate, companion, champion, friend, and support.  Help me to create a peaceful, restful, safe place for him to come home to.  Teach me how to take care of myself and stay attractive to him.  Grow me into a creative and confident woman who is rich in mind, soul, and spirit.  Make me the kind of woman he can be proud to say is his wife.  I lay areas where I should be looking to You.   Help me to accept him the way he is and not try to change him.  I realize that in some ways he may never change, but at the same time, I release him to change in ways I never thought he could.  I leave any changing that needs to be done in your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be. Only you Lord, are perfect and I look to you to perfect us.  Teach me how to pray for my husband and make my prayers a true language of love. 

Where love has died, create new love between us.  Show me what unconditional love really is and how to communicate it in a way that he can clearly perceive.  Bring unity between us so that we can be in agreement about everything (Amos 3:3).  May the God of patience and comfort grant us to be like minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus (Romans 15:5).  Make us a team, not pursuing separate, competitive, or independent lives, but working together, overlooking each other’s faults and weaknesses for the greater good of the marriage.  Help us to pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another (Romans 14:19).  May we be “perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment” (1Corinthians 1:10). I pray that our commitment to You and to one another will grow stronger and more passionate every day.  Enable him to be the head of the home as You made him to be, and show me how to support and respect him as he rises to the place of leadership.  Help me to understand his dreams and see things from his perspective.  Reveal to me what he wants and needs and show me potential problems before they arise. Breathe your life into this marriage.  Make me a new person, Lord.  Give me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and a renewed relationship with the man You’ve given me.  Help me see him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion, and new acceptance.

 

 

 

 

Even a children's Bible can have adult lessons

I started this routine during my quiet times where I go through this child training Bible that I put together last year.  Every morning I  read through the verses centered around a particular quality that children tend to struggle with- knowing that at some point I will need this wisdom to impart on Jake.  I laugh now at my naivety as God has shown me that these verses  I'm reading in a "children's" Bible are not just for Jake, but for me.  

 

This past week I have been reading the section titled "impatience."  Patience is a tough character trait for adults to embody let alone a one and a half year old that can barely talk.  I can think of a number of things that cause impatience to set in for me- looking for a church, finding community, growing our family, waiting for Jake to walk up the stairs, waiting for Jake to walk down the stairs, waiting for Dan to come home...  the list goes on and on.  Needless to say, every day I am presented with an opportunity to grow in patience.  Which is why I'm thankful God is teaching me some valuable lessons regarding it right now.  Enjoy my "Message" paraphrasing of the Bible :)

 

Wait patiently for the Lord, and in the meantime don't worry about others who seem to be prospering in the areas that you are waiting for. (Psalm 37:7)

 

Being patient requires humility and realizing there is a bigger plan at work than the one I am envisioning.  Those proud and self reliant rush ahead to try to make things happen in their own strength. (Ecclesiastes 7:8)

 

God created EVERYTHING around us.  NOTHING is too hard for Him. Nothing. (Jeremiah 32:17)

 

God will strengthen us with His power SO THAT we can endure and be patient WITH joy (yes, he allows us to do it with joy).  And while we are waiting in His strength, we can give thanks to God who has given us so much already. (Colossians 1:11) 

 

I hope these verses help you wait well in whatever it is you are waiting for as they have for me :)
 

You can read upside down, right?

Link Love

I have so many links to share I seriously can't decide which ones I want to start with.  That means I have had way too much time on my hands to search the internet... but that's ok :)  It's not bad when what I'm reading is edifying and worth sharing, right?

Get excited.

I just got this Advent calendar and this Random Acts of Kindness Calendar to start this Christmas season.  Jake may not understand everything about these things this year, but I'm excited to start some fun traditions nonetheless :)

I should have posted this before I jumped the gun with Christmas traditions, but I also printed out these "thankfulness" tags to do with Jake this month as well.  And then I went ahead and joined her mailing to have access to all of her FREE PDF's.  I love it when moms that are more creative than me share their wonderful talents.

My friend posted this post months ago, but I've been meaning to buy some ever since then. So cute.

Seriously, if you're a mom with young kids, I dare you to read this and then NOT want to go hug your child/ children after you're finished.  Go ahead and try.

Another tear jerker for moms.  Why do I even read this stuff?  I don't know.

I made this when my mom was here a couple weeks ago and it was amazing. 

And these.  So so good.  A pinterest drink I've been wanting to make.. thankfully my SIL is willing to try a new girly drink with me when Dan won't :)  Oh, and while we were at it we made these.  Really though, how can you go wrong with homemade mozzarella sticks?

I heard this song last night on the voice and I love it. {below}

 

 

Have I mentioned before how much I love Lindsey Letters?  Well, how about I talk about her one more time?  Because for my birthday I asked for this print, this print, this print, and this print.  No, I'm not obsessed. Not at all.

 

And I can't get enough of this Kraft commercial.  And no it's not because Dan works for them. {Below}

 

 



 

Happy Wednesday night :)

Parents Weekend

We have been so blessed to have both sides of our family and some friends from Chicago come to visit us already in New York.  A couple weeks ago my parents made it out to visit us and it was so fun to show them our new place and take them around Binghamton.  Unfortunately, the weather was a little off, so doing what normally makes my heart race- all things fall, didn't turn out as well as I wanted :/  Nonetheless, my mom and dad (and Jake and Dan for that matter) were good sports as I introduced them to a local winery, apple farm, and Spiedie sandwiches (what Binghamton is known for).  Here are some pictures I took :)

I feel like Jake is always eating donuts...

I was trying to jump to get Jake to smile... hence the awkward pose.

Halloween 2013

That little man of ours can be such a serious kid, and Dan and I can't tell whether he liked Halloween or he didn't. Wegman's (our local grocery store) hosted a Trick or Treating night on Tuesday so we decided to go.  As we walked through, Jake didn't want anyone to put candy in his pumpkin.  Every time someone put candy in it he looked at it, took it out, handed it to me, then continued on his way. 

And then Halloween night came.  First of all, our neighborhood is apparently known for getting a ton of trick or treaters, and we sure did.  Two houses down from us they go ALL OUT.  They had a mechanical witch, cop car, lights, music, smoke.  You name it, they had it.  So, I think that is partly why our neighborhood is "the place" to go.  Also, almost everybody has a front porch so it's fun just to sit outside and hang out as kids come up. 

Dan and I still don't know if Jake quite understood the concept.  We tried to get him to walk up to the houses and hold out his pumpkin but he didn't do that.  He was very serious all night, just taking it all in lol  And I'm sure there are other parents out there who experience this, but this seems to be the age where you're not sure if your child is going to wear their costume or not.  Thankfully, Dan's parents sent us superman pajamas and a cape (interchangeable between batman and superman :) ) so he definitely wore the pajamas, but as you can see below, he wasn't too keen on wearing the cape.

Needless to say, we had a lot of fun handing out candy and visiting our neighbors.  We'll see how Jake likes it next year :)

At Wegman's

So serious :)

I'm a GUEST blogger :)

Guys, I have some exciting news to share.  I am guest blogging today at one of my friend's blogs!  So cool, right? 

My friend Rachael is putting together a series on her blog where she asks women to share about a trial that the Lord has brought them through.  The theme is: "In times of Trial, God is my ... "  I'm sharing about our miscarriage, and although I've said a lot about it on my blog here, I would encourage you to visit her blog purely to hear her story.  Rachael has gone through a season of infertility and now adoption and the grace and trust she has shown through their trial is something that can only come from the Lord.  Her and her husband started a church plant near New York city, but I met her when I worked at Trinity and I am so thankful to have gotten to know her during our time in Chicago. 

I am sincerely humbled that she asked me to share my story.  I hope you are encouraged by Rachael's journey and I can't wait to hear stories from the other women she has asked to be apart of the series!

Oh, and Happy Halloween!  Just like every other mom I will be posting pictures of Jake and his superman costume soon :)

A Book Review: Give them Grace

I have been talking about the book "Give them Grace" for quite some time now.  For me, it is one of those books that I will probably revisit not just for parenting purposes, but simply to be reminded about the importance of the gospel for years to come.  I had many people tell me about this book and I had read blogs that raved about Elyse for months before Jake was born, so I decided to put it on our baby registry and I am so glad that I did.

Honestly I thought this book was going to be about cutting our kids some slack in this day and age where parents are so strict and rigid with rules.  I thought it was going to be about loving them in some sort of "radical" and new way.  To some extent my assumptions were correct, but she shares so much more than that.  As always, there is a lot to talk about with her book, but the main purpose of this post is to share what really impacted me.

Elyse's big principle is that rules ultimately don't change hearts.  For years we have already demonstrated that humans aren't good at keeping the rules.  That doesn't mean that we say heck with rules- obviously kids need boundaries and guidelines.  But what it does mean, is that when our kids fail to keep the rules God has set in the Bible, we use that opportunity as a time to share the gospel with them.  We tell them that as parents we struggle with keeping the rules too, and that's why Jesus came- he kept all the rules perfectly and lived a life without sin- something that we ultimately can't do.  The "rules" (law) in the Bible were meant to point us to a Savior, not to make us discouraged.

I love her chapter where she describes the parenting style of the father in the Parable of the Prodigal Son.  Elyse describes how this good father ultimately welcomes two wicked sons who were outwardly very different but inwardly the same.  Growing up I strived (and still do to some extent) to be the son who did the right thing.  I would have never ran away with my parents money and squandered it.  I was the "good girl."  However, because of this sometimes the good news didn't seem so good to me.  I didn't need Jesus' mercy because (in my eyes) I was already good enough by my outward performance.  That is why it is so important for us as parents to be confessing things like pride and judgment and criticism and envy and selfish ambition.  Because let me tell you, I had a lot of that going on (again... and still do).  Those are all inward sins that our kids don't see in our outward behavior, but they need to know that it exists and ultimately isn't "good." I don't want to teach Jake that religious activity and outward obedience elevates him out of the category of a sinner in need of mercy purely because he has kept the rules I have given him.

Elyse also talks a lot about discipline and the strong need for it.  Shepherding a Child's Heart discusses this as well, but she gives a pretty complete list of scripture that encourages discipline so I will list it for you in case you want to check them out :)

Proverbs 13:24
Proverbs 22:15
Proverbs 23:13-14
Proverbs 29:15
Hebrews 12:7-11

There is so much more in this book I could write about.  She talks about prayer and how we aren't meant to live our lives in Christian bubbles, but there was one last chapter that challenged me in particular.  Some of you have probably heard the Westminister Chatechism's statement: the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.  Well, Elyse challenges us to evaluate this statement in context of our parenting.  She challenged me when she said that a strong, successful family may not be the way that God has chosen for us to glorify Him.  It could be in weakness and failure.  That is really difficult to think about.  Will I be ok if Jake and Lord willing, our other children, don't turn out to be perfect little, godly children?

"None of us wants to appear weak or incompetent especially when it comes to difficulties in our family.  We hate it when we can't boast about our successful parenting, yet we can grow in our faith to believe that the Lord is sending a particular trial because it glorifies Him." pg 150

As a parent, obviously my goal is that Jake will grow up to be a godly and caring man.  (I somewhat already talked about this in another post) And I will do everything I can to point him in that direction.  However, it was such a good and true reminder when Elyse pointed me to look at the cross- God used an ugly execution to demonstrate his grace, mercy, justice, and love.  He can turn anything that may appear bad into good.

I am sure there will be a lot of ups and downs on this journey in parenthood.  I'm sure each stage will bring new challenges but ultimately I want to shower Jake with grace.  I want to point him to Jesus and show him the gospel and guide him when he is unsure and encourage him when he fails and love him with the love that I have been shown by God.  Pretty big goals, right?  Thankfully there is grace.  And if I fail I will rest in that.  And I pray Jake can see that in my life.

Pumpkin Dump Cake

Why not continue the pumpkin and fall theme on my blog with a recipe? 



Dan's mom knows my love for all things Fall and posted this recipe on my Facebook wall.  It seems like it can be changed quite a bit to your preferences and when served warm with (Blue Bell :) vanilla ice it was amazing.  Honestly, this would be a *perfect* substitute for pumpkin pie.  Don't get me wrong, I love pumpkin pie.  But sometimes there are 5 different pumpkin pies at Thanksgiving and this would be a great way to spice up the dessert options.  And it was super easy- hence the title "dump cake."  Here's how we made ours:

{Ingredients}

1 15 oz can Pumpkin Puree
1 10 oz can Evaporated Milk
1 cup light brown sugar
3 eggs (slightly beaten)
3 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1 box yellow cake mix
3 sticks of butter melted (divided)
1 cup coarsely crushed graham crackers
1 bag of white chocolate chips
Caramel sauce to drizzle on top
{How to Make}

Preheat oven to 350.  Spray a 9×13 baking pan lightly with cooking/baking spray.

In a small bowl melt 1 stick of butter.  Then combine with one package of crushed graham crackers (approximately 10 graham crackers).  Press to bottom of pan to form crust.

In a large bowl combine the pumpkin, evaporated milk, sugar, eggs and pumpkin pie spice. Stir to combine and pour into your prepared pan.

Sprinkle your entire box of cake mix on top, followed by white chocolate chips and some crushed graham crackers.  Pour your melted butter evenly on top and drizzle caramel sauce (or wait until after- we did ours before)

Bake for 45 minutes until center is set and edges are lightly browned.

Recipe adapted from: cookiesandcups.com

{Even more} Pumpkins in Texas

Do you like how I put pool pictures at the end of our last post to make you think I was done sharing pictures from the pumpkin patch?  Well, I'm not.  I'm tricky like that.  Get ready for pictures of even more pumpkins.  And of course, Jake.  Happy Friday, friends :)

Jake is having a TON of fun. I promise.