A new year.

I couldn't help but smile as I drove past the gym next to Trinity this morning.  The parking lot was unusually filled- which is quite abnormal for my drive to work around 7:30.  And then it hit me- January 4.  Oh New Years resolutions.  There is something about having a clean slate- out with the old and in with the new- a new year of opportunities, a new year of challenges, just a new year in general.  I am blessed and can't really say I am thankful that 2010 is gone- I know some people who were faced with many challenges this past year and are so thankful to see the calendar flip to 2011.  But, I can say there is something refreshing about the beginning of a new year. 

For me, the new year is about taking time to really assess how I am doing in my walk with the Lord.  Have I grown this past year?  Do I love God and people more?  Am I less focused on self and more focused on serving others?  What about my pride... my patience?  While I wish these were easy questions for me to answer unfortunately they are not.  Somewhere along this past year I have gotten lazy.  By this I mean that although I have desired to change in the areas mentioned above, I realized that I have not wanted to put in the work and the time.  I wanted instant gratification and change.  I wanted to read a book and have it change my life.  I wanted to take a class and be a perfect counselor.  I wanted to be a more godly wife by laying down my needs for only a couple days.

Today the Lord really showed me through His Word, another blog, and a sermon what my New Years resolution should be.  The blog post I read was about small successes that add up to an end goal: choosing not to snap at our children, choosing to pause before responding rudely to a sales clerk, choosing to believe the best when I doubt what someone says.  Then, I started reading through Philippians 3 "I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus made me his own.  Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own . . . but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."  Then, I decided to look up some commentary on that verse and came across this sermon titled "Going hard after a Holy God."  I love it when God so clearly shows up in my life.   

I want to share with you what I learned in the book "Humility: True Greatness" by CJ Mahaney in more detail later, but in general his book opened my eyes to what Piper calls in his sermon a "holy dissatisfaction with your spiritual life."  I realized that developing a character of humility, similar to Jesus', takes waking up early and starting my day off in the Word,  memorizing scripture, slowing down and thinking about my thought process, what I say to others, recognizing and dismissing prideful thoughts, being aware of my critical spirit and so much more.  And it takes time.  Doing these things for a week is not going to change my character or heart.  The prize that am reaching for takes a lifetime of pursuing.  Christ has already made me His own, my prayer is that I can respond to that call in such a way that keeps me desiring Him long after today when I'm not in the spirit of making New Years resolutions.