Winter and a Good Reminder

 

"Come thou fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing Thy grace."

- Robert Robinson

 

At the beginning of this year we had another miscarriage. 

 

It wasn't like our last miscarriage.  As soon as I got my numbers back from the second blood test we knew I was going to miscarry.  But man, the hope.  That's the hardest part.  I had hope and excitement that we would be expanding our family by 3 kiddos now and not just 2 (speaking of Jake and our little adopted child :). 

Up until this point Dan and I really have been at peace with our infertility.  And I honestly wasn't expecting to get pregnant- it just hasn't been on my mind.  And then those two lines came out of nowhere saying we were pregnant and it totally threw everything off.  If I'm being totally honest my first reaction as I was crying after the phone call from the doctor was, "Why, God?  Why even let this happen?  What is the point?  We were totally fine and at peace with where You have us, so why did we need to have this come up?"

 

And God answered as I read through all the verses, lyrics, and quotes that God has given me over the past two years since our last miscarriage and our season of infertility.  He reminded me that in this life we will have trouble (John 16:33) and He reminded me that we shouldn't be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes to test us (1 Peter 4:12).

 

And once again, He reminded me that this isn't he way the world was supposed to be.  In this world we weren't supposed to struggle with infertility, miscarriages, cancer, disease, brokenness, death.  God's perfect plan didn't include sin.  And yet God grieves with us when we suffer through these things.  And He promises us that He will use these trials for something greater than we can imagine if we let Him.  That He can redeem our brokenness and turn it into something beautiful.

 

He promises us that He will use our trials to strengthen us (James 1:2) and that He is near to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)

He tells us that this light and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison (2 Corinthians 4:16-17) and that after a season of suffering He will restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish us. (1 Peter 5:10)
 

He says that even when we don't understand or can't see, we can trust that He will work all things together for our good. (Romans 8:28)

And He tells us that through the hard times He will be our peace (Micah 6:6).  His steadfast love never ceases.  That His mercies are still new every morning, and that He is good to those who wait for Him and seek Him. (Lamentations 3:21)

 

Our lives are messy and we are broken and let's face it, we need a Savior.  This miscarriage has stood as a faithful reminder that He does use our difficult times for good.  That He still has a plan amidst the unknown.  And that we can trust Him even when we can't see. I am so thankful for God's promises and have been praying that God would allow me to see His goodness even through the hard and confusing times.