I'm a GUEST blogger :)

Guys, I have some exciting news to share.  I am guest blogging today at one of my friend's blogs!  So cool, right? 

My friend Rachael is putting together a series on her blog where she asks women to share about a trial that the Lord has brought them through.  The theme is: "In times of Trial, God is my ... "  I'm sharing about our miscarriage, and although I've said a lot about it on my blog here, I would encourage you to visit her blog purely to hear her story.  Rachael has gone through a season of infertility and now adoption and the grace and trust she has shown through their trial is something that can only come from the Lord.  Her and her husband started a church plant near New York city, but I met her when I worked at Trinity and I am so thankful to have gotten to know her during our time in Chicago. 

I am sincerely humbled that she asked me to share my story.  I hope you are encouraged by Rachael's journey and I can't wait to hear stories from the other women she has asked to be apart of the series!

Oh, and Happy Halloween!  Just like every other mom I will be posting pictures of Jake and his superman costume soon :)

A Book Review: Give them Grace

I have been talking about the book "Give them Grace" for quite some time now.  For me, it is one of those books that I will probably revisit not just for parenting purposes, but simply to be reminded about the importance of the gospel for years to come.  I had many people tell me about this book and I had read blogs that raved about Elyse for months before Jake was born, so I decided to put it on our baby registry and I am so glad that I did.

Honestly I thought this book was going to be about cutting our kids some slack in this day and age where parents are so strict and rigid with rules.  I thought it was going to be about loving them in some sort of "radical" and new way.  To some extent my assumptions were correct, but she shares so much more than that.  As always, there is a lot to talk about with her book, but the main purpose of this post is to share what really impacted me.

Elyse's big principle is that rules ultimately don't change hearts.  For years we have already demonstrated that humans aren't good at keeping the rules.  That doesn't mean that we say heck with rules- obviously kids need boundaries and guidelines.  But what it does mean, is that when our kids fail to keep the rules God has set in the Bible, we use that opportunity as a time to share the gospel with them.  We tell them that as parents we struggle with keeping the rules too, and that's why Jesus came- he kept all the rules perfectly and lived a life without sin- something that we ultimately can't do.  The "rules" (law) in the Bible were meant to point us to a Savior, not to make us discouraged.

I love her chapter where she describes the parenting style of the father in the Parable of the Prodigal Son.  Elyse describes how this good father ultimately welcomes two wicked sons who were outwardly very different but inwardly the same.  Growing up I strived (and still do to some extent) to be the son who did the right thing.  I would have never ran away with my parents money and squandered it.  I was the "good girl."  However, because of this sometimes the good news didn't seem so good to me.  I didn't need Jesus' mercy because (in my eyes) I was already good enough by my outward performance.  That is why it is so important for us as parents to be confessing things like pride and judgment and criticism and envy and selfish ambition.  Because let me tell you, I had a lot of that going on (again... and still do).  Those are all inward sins that our kids don't see in our outward behavior, but they need to know that it exists and ultimately isn't "good." I don't want to teach Jake that religious activity and outward obedience elevates him out of the category of a sinner in need of mercy purely because he has kept the rules I have given him.

Elyse also talks a lot about discipline and the strong need for it.  Shepherding a Child's Heart discusses this as well, but she gives a pretty complete list of scripture that encourages discipline so I will list it for you in case you want to check them out :)

Proverbs 13:24
Proverbs 22:15
Proverbs 23:13-14
Proverbs 29:15
Hebrews 12:7-11

There is so much more in this book I could write about.  She talks about prayer and how we aren't meant to live our lives in Christian bubbles, but there was one last chapter that challenged me in particular.  Some of you have probably heard the Westminister Chatechism's statement: the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.  Well, Elyse challenges us to evaluate this statement in context of our parenting.  She challenged me when she said that a strong, successful family may not be the way that God has chosen for us to glorify Him.  It could be in weakness and failure.  That is really difficult to think about.  Will I be ok if Jake and Lord willing, our other children, don't turn out to be perfect little, godly children?

"None of us wants to appear weak or incompetent especially when it comes to difficulties in our family.  We hate it when we can't boast about our successful parenting, yet we can grow in our faith to believe that the Lord is sending a particular trial because it glorifies Him." pg 150

As a parent, obviously my goal is that Jake will grow up to be a godly and caring man.  (I somewhat already talked about this in another post) And I will do everything I can to point him in that direction.  However, it was such a good and true reminder when Elyse pointed me to look at the cross- God used an ugly execution to demonstrate his grace, mercy, justice, and love.  He can turn anything that may appear bad into good.

I am sure there will be a lot of ups and downs on this journey in parenthood.  I'm sure each stage will bring new challenges but ultimately I want to shower Jake with grace.  I want to point him to Jesus and show him the gospel and guide him when he is unsure and encourage him when he fails and love him with the love that I have been shown by God.  Pretty big goals, right?  Thankfully there is grace.  And if I fail I will rest in that.  And I pray Jake can see that in my life.

Pumpkin Dump Cake

Why not continue the pumpkin and fall theme on my blog with a recipe? 



Dan's mom knows my love for all things Fall and posted this recipe on my Facebook wall.  It seems like it can be changed quite a bit to your preferences and when served warm with (Blue Bell :) vanilla ice it was amazing.  Honestly, this would be a *perfect* substitute for pumpkin pie.  Don't get me wrong, I love pumpkin pie.  But sometimes there are 5 different pumpkin pies at Thanksgiving and this would be a great way to spice up the dessert options.  And it was super easy- hence the title "dump cake."  Here's how we made ours:

{Ingredients}

1 15 oz can Pumpkin Puree
1 10 oz can Evaporated Milk
1 cup light brown sugar
3 eggs (slightly beaten)
3 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1 box yellow cake mix
3 sticks of butter melted (divided)
1 cup coarsely crushed graham crackers
1 bag of white chocolate chips
Caramel sauce to drizzle on top
{How to Make}

Preheat oven to 350.  Spray a 9×13 baking pan lightly with cooking/baking spray.

In a small bowl melt 1 stick of butter.  Then combine with one package of crushed graham crackers (approximately 10 graham crackers).  Press to bottom of pan to form crust.

In a large bowl combine the pumpkin, evaporated milk, sugar, eggs and pumpkin pie spice. Stir to combine and pour into your prepared pan.

Sprinkle your entire box of cake mix on top, followed by white chocolate chips and some crushed graham crackers.  Pour your melted butter evenly on top and drizzle caramel sauce (or wait until after- we did ours before)

Bake for 45 minutes until center is set and edges are lightly browned.

Recipe adapted from: cookiesandcups.com

{Even more} Pumpkins in Texas

Do you like how I put pool pictures at the end of our last post to make you think I was done sharing pictures from the pumpkin patch?  Well, I'm not.  I'm tricky like that.  Get ready for pictures of even more pumpkins.  And of course, Jake.  Happy Friday, friends :)

Jake is having a TON of fun. I promise.

Pumpkins in Texas

A couple weeks ago we went to Texas to visit Dan's family (I gave a small recap here) and it is always SUCH a treat to spend time with them.   For starters, it's almost always warm so we spend time at their pool... definitely a luxury in October now that we live in upstate NY.  But they know the best restaurants in Texas, so we had the most amazing BBQ and Mexican.  We all agreed that we were a couple pounds heavier after those couple days... but it was so so worth it.  Since Dan's parents know me way too well, they found this amazing pumpkin patch to take us to- and seriously it was the most amazing place I have ever seen.  I didn't know you could do so many things with pumpkins. And as always, we took tons and tons of pictures. Which means there will be a part one and part two of this trip. So here's part one :)

Oh, and compare these pool pics below with these from a year ago that we took the last time we were in Texas! Jake was so teeny!

Who wouldn't want to eat lunch here?

The sign for "all done" has turned into "all gone" .. since he threw an acorn in the river and it was all gone :)

Yes that is a house made of pumpkins behind them.  I told you this place was incredible!

Jake was a little upset because we made him get out of the pool.  His teeth were chattering and his lips were purple.. so it was time.. but he did not want to get out!

Jake thought it was so funny to try to "drink" the water lol

The Due Date.

via

 

October 20th.  Back in April, the world I was envisioning at this moment looked very different.  Jake was welcoming a little brother or sister and I was re-learning how to nurse, swaddle, live on only 3 hours of continuous sleep, and then also adjusting to being a mom of two young kids.  But, the reality is that we're not there.  We are still a family of 3.  

My discipler from college this past weekend asked me how I was doing, and although this is only by the grace of God, I was able to say that I am actually thankful for what God has brought us through.  Do I wish I was holding our second baby in my arms today?  Of course.  But God has shown me that if I am willing and if I let him, He can use some of the most difficult seasons in my life for good.  You know that verse about God being close to the brokenhearted?  I really can attest that it is true.  I've never felt as sad, hopeless, anxious, and confused as I did after I found out we lost our baby.  But, I've also never experienced God in this way before.  He has revealed to me areas of my heart that needed to be worked on, but He has also drawn me closer to Him.

Now.  Can I be really honest with you?

I thought for sure by now I would be pregnant again.

 

Even up until this past month I remember envisioning what a sweet story it would be if I found out I was pregnant right before our baby's due date.  But I'm not.  It didn't happen.  And I'm not gonna lie, it was hard to let that soak in.  I don't think I realized it until this past week, but there was a part of me that was hoping I would be pregnant before October 20th because I thought that would make it easier to process my miscarriage. 

However, That was my story that I was writing.  That wasn't God's story.  And if there is anything I've learned during this past year, it is that I don't want my story, I want God's story for my life.

Kids are a gift.  A gift is given willingly to someone without payment.  I kind of have a history of wanting gifts before it's time. When Dan and I started talking about getting engaged and doing "pre- pre marital counseling" (yes we did that) I started to get just a tad impatient.  It was hard for me to not constantly imagine how Dan would pop the question.  Every date we went on led me to thoughts of "I wonder if this is the moment Dan is going to get down on one knee."  And unfortunately, if it wasn't, there was always a part of me that was sad.  The poor guy.  All Dan wanted to do was surprise me and I was pushing him to give me "his gift" before his timing.  And in the end, Dan's proposal and timing was so much better than I had even imagined.

With that being said, I'm learning how to "wait well."  If God decides to bless us with another child, He will.  Until then I am working on what it looks like to walk with God in this moment.  Just last week I heard a great message about sowing seeds and I've been asking God recently what kinds of "seeds" He wants me to sow  today.. as a mom of one baby toddler boy :)  He truly is teaching me about contentment in this particular season of my life.  So that is my prayer.  That I would honor and glorify God in this time of waiting.  Not where I hope to be, but right here, right now.  It's a process but I'm clinging to the promise that He who began a good work in me will bring it to completion.  

A little vacation back "home"

A couple months ago Dan had to be in Chicago for work, so naturally Jake and I ventured there with him :)  It was one of those weeks where I thought I would be snapping pictures left and right, but it really wasn't.  There were lots of coffee dates and dinners and walks to get pizza and ice cream and shopping and most of all: tons of catching up on life to do.  So it didn't feel natural to pull out the camera since there were more important things going on :)  However, when our small group met up for a social, I had thankfully caught up with all of them one on one earlier in the week so I busted out my camera and took pictures.  Which was easier said than done with what felt like 25 kids running around Andy and Becca's!  It was one of those evenings where we sat down afterwards and wondered what just happened because it was such a whirlwind of chaos.  But I loved every single moment of it :)  We miss those wonderful people and all their kiddos.  And I know Jake does, too.  It was a great weekend and we were so thankful to be able to catch up with everyone!



Jake had this hat when he was 6 months :)  It was little Ryan's.. and I stole it ha

Jake got jealous when Becca was holding Claire so of course he wanted "up," too lol

This picture pretty much sums up the whole night lol

New baby Willa

Seriously a such a happy little guy :)

I purely put this picture up because I love Claire's chubby little legs :)

There was pumpkin trifle!

It was a long night for the little man