A Sad Goodbye

Throughout these past couple years I've read a lot of counseling books that say the holidays can be a difficult time for many people.  It wasn't until this year that I fully understood why the holidays- which seem to bring so much excitement for some people, can bring so much heartache for others.  This Thanksgiving I now understood what it was like to be on the other side- experiencing the heartache.  For the first time the lights, decorations, and Christmas traditions didn't feel so special.

The day before Thanksgiving I lost Pap, my grandfather, in one of the most tragic ways possible.  It happened in such a way that leaves you in utter shock and sick to your stomach.  You almost can't grieve because you don't believe what you just found out- your mind almost refuses to believe what actually happened.  You can't sleep because you keep replaying in your mind over and over again what their last moments were like and what they were thinking.  And you keep asking yourself if there was anything that you could have done differently.  If you could have sent one more email or made one more phone call, would that have changed everything?  You keep wondering how long they were hurting and suffering and what brought them to that point.  His death brought up much more hurt and sadness than I've ever felt.  And here I am, a week later, still trying to process what actually happened.  Still trying to rationalize in my mind what he was going through and why he did it.

It's awful.  I can't put into words how awful it is.  You are left with so many questions and no answers- and the worst part is I know I will never get any answers.

At church on Sunday Laura Story's song "Blessings" was sang during the offering and I know for a fact that God knew my family needed to hear that song.  That we needed to be reminded that this pain that we're feeling is a reminder that this is not our home.  That this world is so incredibly far from perfect.  And that the "aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy."

One of the verses my brother and I read at his funeral was 1 Thessalonians 4:13:

"Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him."

And so I don't grieve like the rest of mankind who have no hope after death.  I know that Jesus Christ lives and this is not the end.  So I trust in Pap's faith that he had.  I trust that I will see him again.

But until then, I'll miss him. 

Love you Pap.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

via

Hi friends :)  I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!  While I know we should be doing this daily,  hopefully you have some time to sit and remember all you have to be thankful for.  I know I have a lot of things and I don't thank God enough for them.

So, enjoy time with family and friends, eating, and reminiscing about how you've been blessed :)

The Exhausting Life

This past weekend our pastor had a great message that I REALLY needed to hear.  I keep saying throughout this busy season in my life that I want to be more connected to Christ.  Whenever life kicks in to high gear I find myself focusing more and more on myself and less and less on God.  This has been a constant prayer request and desire of mine, yet I continue to find myself failing in this area.  

Well, Pastor James talked about the Exhausting Christian Life this past Sunday.  So many of us read the Bible and then pray that we would be more loving.  Then, we feel convicted about sharing our faith, so we start praying for that, and the list gets longer and longer and we keep trying and trying to be a "better Christian" and it's not working.  Quite frankly, I am pretty sure this is what non Christians see when they look at Christians- they see Christians trying to be a better person by following all of these rules - and that turns them off from God.  And I have to be honest, I'm sure I've portrayed this throughout a lot of my Christian life. 

The key is "Christ in me."  Pastor James said something that really stuck with me.  As Christians we're not trying to be a "better version of ourselves, but we are striving for a better expression of Christ in us."  God doesn't want to just save us from the penalty of sin, but the power of sin. 

So how does this happen?  We focus on Christ, confess the sin in our life, ask to be filled with the Holy Spirit, and believe that we are.  We are constantly listening to God's promptings in our life.  So, even when I'm busy, I'm still listening to God.  I desire to be so filled with God that I'm no longer controlled by my own actions but by God.

I'm very thankful and blessed by our church :) 

Visitors

This weekend we had some fun but unexpected visitors!  Dan's brother Jeff, and his friend, Craig, stopped by on their two month road trip around the U.S.  They started in Ohio and made their way to New York, down the East Coast, through Texas, up California, and through the west and one of their last stops was through Chicago!  Originally they thought they would be driving through next weekend so we would miss them because we would be out of town for Thanksgiving, but they drove like 13 hours in one day to make it here!  When they arrived on Saturday, we just hung out and then Sunday went to church and watched some games at Buffalo Wild Wings.  It was really nice to see them :)  

Here they are with their scruffy beards.  They said they fit right in at the truck stops. 

I love wings. 

Mmmm. SO good.

Before they came, I made Olive Garden's Zuppa Toscana Soup on Friday, which is my fffavvvorite (pic below) then Dan and I studied and watched some episodes of Up All Night on Hulu.  Hilarious.  Their birth episode was SO funny.  We had a great weekend, and are very much looking forward to our short week! 

Pinterest Finds

Like I said earlier, in my free time I have been looking at Pinterest.  I wouldn't say I'm addicted, but it is a really great place to keep track of things like recipes, hair styles, outfits, etc.  For years I just email myself links of recipes or something that is cute and now I have one common place to keep everything.  It is just SO wonderful! Here are some of my favorite finds so far :)

via cute Christmas card idea

This cracks me up via

Love this skirt and color via

Love this outfit! via

via- made these this weekend for an appetizer and they were GREAT!

I love shrimp- looking for new recipes via

Cream Puffs and Chocolate via

A prayer

One of my friends in my Bible Study sent this prayer to me.  In her words if you want something to "wreck" you, read this and examine your heart.  I have to agree with her- this was a pretty convicting prayer to read!  She got it from "A Diary of Private Prayer" by John Baille.

O Merciful Father, who dost look down upon the weaknesses of Thy human children more in pity than in anger, and more in love than in pity, let me now in Thy holy presence inquire into the secrets of my heart.

Have I today done anything to fulfill the purpose for which Thou didst cause me to be born?
Have I accepted such opportunities of service as Thou in Thy wisdom has set before my feet?
Have I performed without omission the plain duties of the day?
       Give me grace to answer honestly O God.
Have I today done anything to tarnish my Christian ideal of womanhood?
Have I been lazy in body or languid in spirit?
Have I kept my imagination pure an healthy?
Have I been scrupulously honorable in all my business dealings?
Have I been transparently sincere in all I have professed to be, to feel, or to do?
       Give me grace to answer honestly, O God.
Have I tried today to see myself as others see me?
Have I made more excuses for myself than I ave been willing to make for others?
Have I, in my own home, been a peace-maker or have I stirred up strife?
Have I, while professing noble sentiments for great causes and distant objects, failed even in common charity and courtesy towards those nearest to me?        
       Give me grace to answer honestly O God.

O thou whose infinite love, made manifest in Jesus Christ, alone has power to destroy the empire of evil in my soul, grant that with each day that passes I may more and more be delivered from my besetting sins.

Where do I start?

Our weekend was full of so many things! We had our last modular Theology 3 class this Friday and Saturday.  Although it's our last actual class, we still have a lot of books and a final to write- so we're not quite done. But, I am thankful to be done attending the actual class- those classes were definitely long- 3 hours on Friday and 8 hours on Saturday!

Then, we went to church and had some friends over.  Dan and I were really excited to host because since we've been pretty busy, we just haven't had time to have anyone over or make our apartment presentable enough :)  So, it started off with a good appetizer (will share later), then some buffalo dip that Krysten brought, then Becca made the main dish: Italian beef sandwiches!  Everything was going well until I started the dessert.  I found a great recipe for pizza dessert and was pretty pumped to try it.  I put it together, popped it in the oven, and sat down.  When I started to smell something burning I decided to open it just to check... and the pizza toppings were running off the pizza and onto the bottom of the oven. Bummmer.  After that, I was pretty confident in telling everyone we were not going to have any dessert!  I took it out of the oven (I totally should have taken a picture)- and the worst part was that it actually smelled really good!

After that, Dan and I thought it would be a good idea to clean the oven out (with that button that says "Clean Oven.")  After apologizing again to our friends, we sat down and continued the evening.  Well, a little later, when I fortunately was in the bathroom, I heard a loud noise and our friends yelling "the oven is on fire!" I rushed out and see our kitchen filled with smoke.  We didn't see fire, but decided that we shouldn't have hit the clean oven button.  After turning the oven off, Dan opened it up just to check inside, and a TON of smoke came out.  We ended up opening every window, turning all our fans on, and we all ended up on the balcony trying to breathe because our apartment was so filled with so much.  I seriously can't believe the fire department didn't come.  (Oh, and Dan was waving our towels non stop in front of the fire alarm to keep it from going off!)

So, lessons learned from that night:

1. Follow directions with the dessert pizza recipe (I learned you were supposed to put the cream cheese frosting on until AFTER you put it in the oven. My bad)
2. Don't clean your oven with friends over.
3. Google oven cleaning directions before you do that (apparently we shouldn't have kept our pizza stone in there...)
4. Be thankful for gracious friends (they were seriously so patient with us as we were fanning out our apartment and sat in their coats because we had to have the windows open for the rest of the night) So funny.

Anyway, the rest of the weekend I tried to redeem myself by making french toast on Saturday morning for Dan- something I know how to make :)  (Pictures below)  Then we went to the mall and wandered around.  They already have Christmas stuff out- it makes me so excited!!!  Then we went to Pei Wei- our friends gave us their extra free entree coupon!  Overall, it was good weekend.  Crazy, but good.

mmmm french toast

All finished!

I had to take pictures of Dan's plate- he definitely LOADED on the whipped cream I made haha

Starbucks and Christmas.  It doesn't get much better than that. 

Our weekend before the sickness crept in :)

This past weekend was actually a very nice weekend pre late Saturday night!  Dan and I traveled to the mall on Friday night- I used my coupon at Noodles to get a free entree, then Dan bought me some birthday gifts AND gave me his Macy's gift card that he got for his birthday so I could buy my new boots.  What a guy, right? 

Then, Saturday morning I went to a brunch to see my good friend Caroline who moved to Dartmouth to do ministry.  It was so nice to catch up with her and the girls from my old Bible Study!  I got to chat and catch up with my friend Brittany for a little bit and she shared with me her new design blog that she started.  She bought all of those items from thrift stores or just finding them in the trash.  It takes pure talent to create that kind of stuff.  I told her if Dan and I owned a home I would have her come in and decorate it in a second!

Then, we went out to eat with our friends Becca and Andy to celebrate my birthday at a restaurant called Lucky Monk.  It was SO good.  We took some pictures.. well Andy and Becca took some pictures with their awesome new iphone that has a flash :) I was jealous.

This was my dinner- a spicy burger with pickled fries. SO good.

They brought me some peppermint ice cream :)

Recovering.

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What started out as a really great weekend ended abruptly on Saturday night.  Dan and I definitely did not enjoy the extra night of sleep because I was up at least 5 times coughing, blowing my nose, or going to the bathroom because I was trying to stay hydrated. bleh.  The cold that has claimed so many of my friends and co workers has reached me.  Thankfully, Dan is wonderful and patient because I'm a total baby when I'm sick.

So, instead of studying for the midterm that I am taking today, the day was spent sleeping, taking medicine, watching T.V., and updating my Pinterest account that I started a while ago but have yet to do anything with.

So if you think of it- say a little prayer for me sometime today? It's going to be a rough day :/  Thankfully I have been studying all last week... so I'm not totally ill prepared.  We'll see what happens :)

Oh, and it's my Birthday, my Twin Brother, Doug's birthday, and Pap, my grandfather's birthday today! At least I get the day off work :)

I'm a little late...

I know I probably should have posted this on Monday, but I was too anxious to get started with my recipes. 

The main thing I love about my job is all the people I get to meet.  While I was waiting for a professor to pick up a prospective student for lunch, I was talking to a dad and his daughter about their involved in FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) and all the neat opportunities they have had to make an impact at their school for Christ.

Then, we obviously started talking about the World Series since game seven was that night.  I mentioned how my husband always talks about Josh Hamilton and his neat testimony and he asked me if I knew about Lance Berkman's story.  I didn't, and when I told Dan that he was a Christian he said he had never heard that, so on our date night at Alt Thai I googled him to see what popped up.

Sure enough, there were tons of articles about him- and let me tell you- he isn't some fluffy Christian who claims he goes to church.  He believes it. And I was SO encouraged.  Especially by this quote:

John 15:5 is my favorite verse. It’s my favorite because a lot of people who will say, “Well, I’m a good person.” There’s a theology out there that says if the good you do outweighs the bad that you do, that means you’re a good person therefore you’re in good standing with God. That verse really hits home for me because anything we do that’s good apart from the power and the name of Jesus Christ, not that it doesn’t count, but from a spiritual standpoint, it’s not edifying. It’s not worth much. The only way that we can truly have a purpose and an enriching life experience is to do all things in Christ and through the power of Christ. What happens when we’re all about doing good works and we’re doing that outside of the power of Christ is that we end up getting the glory and the whole point of this deal is that God gets the glory. That verse beautifully illustrates that point.

I'm always encouraged when I find people in the spotlight who are staying true to the Gospel.  I find it's hard to stick up for Christ in my little bubble, let alone if you had tons of people watching your every move- how you handle a loss, if you're going to blow up at the umpire for a bad call, etc.  Even though every reaction we make is always seen by God, somehow when it's being aired on TV that comes across as a much bigger deal to me... (and that's why I'm working on people pleasing, friends :)

Anyway, the rest of the article is a really good read if you're interested.  Have a great weekend :)

Pumpkin Spice Latte

So today I come with what appears to be a recipe fail.  I followed the instructions.  Did what I thought was right, but for some reason I ended up with TONS of spices at the bottom of my cup... I'm talking like an inch of spices.  Maybe it was the Pumpkin Puree that didn't disolve.. or coffee grounds because I didn't make the coffee right?!  Who knows.  Anyway, maybe if you try it, it will work out a little bit better for you.  Or, if you have another recipe let me know :)

Oh, and my friend Lauren made a Pumpkin syrup and the recipe is on her blog.  Maybe I'll try that one next :)

Birthday + Recipe

It's my brother's birthday today!! Happy Birthday, Jon!! He has officially joined Doug and I in the wonderful age of 25. Woo hoo :)

To celebrate I will give you my enchilada soup recipe ( well.. not mine.. but one I made last week that was really good )

Have I ever told you how much I love my crockpot? Because I really love my crockpot.  Nothing is better to me than walking in the door from work and smelling my amazing dinner that I don't have to do anything to but spoon into a bowl.  So great.

I didn't take any pictures because I tend to forget to do that.. but the one that the actual "recipe maker" took is much prettier than the one I would have taken.  See ?

Here's the link to the recipe.  It comes highly recommended!

Pumpkin Trifle

This recipe is a big deal for me because I didn't copy off of one recipe- I mixed a couple together and came up with this- and it actually turned out really good! (unless the other small group leaders at our meeting on Sunday were lying to me...)  It's definitely a keeper- good substitute for pumpkin pie.  Here you go!

Ingredients:

2 3.4 oz of instant vanilla pudding

3 cups of cold milk

8 oz of Cool Whip

3 cups of Heavy Whipping Creme 

1 jar of Jet puffed Marshmallow Creme

1 15oz can of Pure Pumpkin (Pumpkin Puree)

1 tsp Ginger & 1 tsp of Cinnamon & 1 tsp of Vanilla

Dash of powdered sugar to taste

Vanilla Wafers (1 box)

Mix the 2 packages of pudding and milk together.  Fold in the Cool Whip. Set aside. 

Beat 3 cups of Heavy Whipping Creme to stiff peaks.  Then, beat in half of the jar of Jet Puffed Marshmallow Creme. Add Powdered sugar if you like it sweeter (I put in an around an extra tablespoon) Set aside. 

Mix together can of Pumpkin, Ginger, Cinnamon, and Vanilla, then mix in the rest of the Marshmallow Creme, then half of the whipped cream. Set aside. 

To Assemble: 

Put half of the pudding mixture on the bottom. 

Layer half of the pumpkin mixture on top of that. 

Crumble vanilla wafers on top of that mixture (enough to cover it).

Then put half of the whipped creme on top of the wafers.  

Repeat from the pudding mixture.  I put a little bit of cinnamon on top of the final whipped creme layer. 

Enjoy!